Scars of the Past

Chapter Twenty: Corey Fillmoore

       One of the nurses walked into the room. We tried to do what seems like a million different things to try and save Payton, but he's gone.

            How could the world be so cruel to rip the kindest, most loving person from the world so early?! He's only 28! He'd have years ahead of him but instead they were torn away from him.

           I looked at his face but part of it made me sick. The thought he's gone made me sick to my stomach.

           The nurse ran some procedural tests such as checking if he really did pass. I hated it more than anything. Losing a patient is nothing like losing a brother.

            The nurse avoided asking me any questions, which I was honestly grateful for. My head was spiraling and I felt like all my words were sucked away from me.

           Maia was still in the doorway. She came in and gave me a hug. "I-I'm so sorry Corey..."

           I nodded, closing my eyes and just wanting to block out my tears. I didn't want to cry. I can't cry. I. Can't. Cry.

           "I'll go call Zeke for you..." Maia said before rushing out of the room.

            Maia was pretty familiar with Zeke. I'd always bring him to work get together or just chat with him and Maia. We were all pretty close.

            I hear steps across the room and I keep my head low before someone's arms gently wrap around me.  I open my eyes a little and notice Amelia.

           "L-Lia..?"

           "Shhhh. Take a breath," Amelia says.

            I try but it's all shaky. I quickly close my eyes, trying to stop the tears but I keep failing miserably.

           "Don't hide it, Corey. It's okay to feel. It's okay to cry."

            I shake my head.

           "It is. You can cry. You can feel. It's okay to fall apart. You need to let it out."

            I give in and bury my head in her shoulder, tearing down and falling. I'm a wreck. I can't believe this is happening. I just want to see him smile. I never even got to say goodbye.

            I hold her tightly just needing something to hold onto. I can't be strong. I'm not strong. I lost Payton, one of the only people I have left.

            "I-I can't do this. I-I can't do this," I say shakily, nearly chocking on my tears.

           "You're going to get through this, Corey," she starts. She grabs my face and looks straight at me. "You and Zeke gave him such a wonderful life. You both made sure he always had everything he needed, you dedicated every spare second and dime to him, you made him feel loved, you paid for his medical bills, you were there every second you could and he had a good life. Even though he's not going to be physically with you, he will always be in your heart, and you will always be in his.  Now, he's free from the pain of seizures or having to be in the hospital. He's going to have a good afterlife because you gave him a good life."

                "You really think so?"

                "I do," she replies quietly.

                I start to gain a little more control of my breathing once the initial hit has flown over.

               Zeke comes running into the room. He rushed to Payton's bedside, hugging him tightly, tears slowly falling down his face.

            I get up from by Amelia and head over to Zeke, giving him a hug. He quickly turns around and hugs me back. He says nothing, he just holds on.

           Eventually he breaks the silence. "I love you, Corey."

           "I love you too, Zeke," I reply, quietly.

             We have each other now. We have to take on the world alone for the first time ever.

           After our parents had passed away in high school, all we had was the three of us. We had to figure everything out. It was hard but we did it because we had each other to look forward to seeing everything. Having each other made everything okay again but now we're missing a part of us. Payton is gone, forever.

           We sat in Payton's room for a while. We said our goodbyes to him and just tried to comfort each other before we finally collected ourselves. They let me take off the rest of the day so we went to Anthony's room to check on him, clear our minds and get Elliott.

            Zeke stayed with us. He's not good at being alone after situations like these. He likes the feeling of comfort, and I don't think he's ready to go home yet. I don't blame him. How do you get used to one less person in your house when that's all you had everyday? He's alone in his house now. No wife. No husband. No kids. Now, no Payton.

           We knocked on Anthony's room and Beverley let's us in.

         "Hey, how are you guys doing?" Beverley asked in a sympathetic voice.

         "We're getting through it," I sigh. Zeke nods.

          Elliott's face lights up as he looks across the room. He quickly gets down from the hospital room chair and runs over to Zeke and I. "Daddy! Uncle Zeke!" Elliott grins.

        He hugs the both of us. I have to say, nothing can make bad things so much easier as hugs from this little guy. "Hey kiddo," I say, smiling softly and lifting him up.

       "I drew you something!" He smiles brightly, looking at me then turning to Zeke. "I drew you something too!"

        "Really?" Zeke said, smiling softly.

        "Mhm!" Elliott says, then turns back to me. "Can I go down?" He points to the floor.

         I nod and put him on the floor. He quickly runs over to a little table and hands us each a little drawing of us all holding hands. "Thank you, Elli!"

      "Aww thanks, Buddy!" Zeke grins looking down at it then kneeling down to give Elliott a hug.

      Elliott grins. After they're done with their hug, I give Elliott another up and scoop him back up again. This boy makes everything okay again.