Scars of the Past

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Anthony Higgins

 I just realized how much the song above suit this chapter and I hate that. I promise things will get better for him soon. Poor baby

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      I lay on the couch, a huge grey blanket covering my entire body. I wish I could just melt into it. Hearing Sean's voice at the front door did not make my day much better. 

        Lately, I feel I've been sucked up into a tornado. For some reason, everyone around me has been magically uprooted into the magical town of Oz while I'm stuck circling with the creepy lady on a bike. Plus Todo, or Cooper who've I've practically adopted as my own at this point. 

       Cooper snuggles up closer to me, liking my face, the only part of me hanging out of the blanket. 

         "Hi, uncle Race!" Elliott grins, running into the living room. 

         "Hi!" I say, trying to smile as I move my head away from Cooper. I love the dog but sometimes I don't want my face covered in spit. "Did you have fun?" 

         "Yeah! I played dinosaur!" He stomps his foot. "Rawr!" 

         "I think the sugar was a bad idea, Lia," Corey says, walking into the living room and taking a seat on the couch. 

         "Maybe," she says, walking over. "But that means he might crash." 

          "That's a bonus, I guess," Corey shrugs. 

          "Why don't you go play with your toys for a bit before bathtime," Amelia says, turning over to Elliott, who's distracted as he stomps around the living room. 

          "Elliott," Corey says, softly. 

           He quickly looks over, pausing in his tracks. "Okayyy." 

            Amelia laughs as Elliott sprints down the hallways toward his bedroom. With or without sugar, that kid is full of energy. He no doubt got that from his dad. Sucks for him. 

          "How are you doing, Ant?" Corey ask. 

          "Okay, I guess," I mumble. "Hearing his voice again wasn't great. He seemed so happy with your brother too." 

         I hate that he moved on so easily. I couldn't even do that and I was the one who ended things. I haven't found someone great. I haven't found someone who will drive me around the city in a big pickup truck. I've found myself in a married couples house, a couple who's busy collecting stuff in the garage for their babies nursery since I'm hogging the spare room. 

        "They just got together. It's hard for things to be miserable right off the bat. It's still their honeymoon stage," Corey shrugs. "Plus, knowing my brother, it's kind of hard to imagine them lasting for long. They're kind of polar opposites." 

         "He can date whoever he wants, its just weird to hear about. It's weird to know he's going home with some guy every night." 

          Corey frowns. 

          "Maybe we can help you find someone. Someone who will get your mind off of Sean and make you happy again," Amelia says. "I miss seeing you smile." 

          "Thanks, Lia." 

           Part of me feels like moving on will be just as rough as not moving on. Sean and I practically built a life together. Sure, it was partially a lie but the rest was true. Our engagement; our date nights at whatever random restaurant shows up for our google search; our long days in home improvement stores, planning everything we wanted to do to our house but wouldn't be able to afford without selling a kidney and a limb. I miss a lot. 

         I curl up closer on the couch, eyeing the television as random commericals for reality shows flare across the screen. Sometiems this stuff helps though. I'll never have to go through the drama those people do, although I'd trade losing a diamond earring in the ocean to my life anyday. With that money, one diamond is nothing.

         Suddenly my phone buzzes beneath my elbow. 

        I quickly grab it, my camera recognizing my face and unlocking it for me only to see a notification from Sean. How great. Just what I needed right now. 

      I try to turn off my phone but end up misclicking into the text. 

    Hey. I know we haven't talk in a while but I'm so sorry about the apartment. If you need anything, I'm more than willing to help. I know you probably don't want to hear this from me but I'd rather you be annoyed with me than be the jerk who doesn't say anything when he sees something messed up happen. I hope you're doing alright. 

    I stare at the screen, eyeing the text. My heart pounding in my chest as my grip tightens on the phone. 

     I'm fine. Thanks though. 

     I quickly hit send and throw my phone back underneath my blanket. 

     He texted me? He checked on me? 

     Even though I replied, my heart feels like its pounding even more, and I can't even put my finger on why. I am a stranger in my own body.