Scars of the Past

Chapter Sixteen: Spot Conlon

Trigger Warnings: mention of death            

                     I sat in my car, the tears pouring down my face once again. I hate feeling so helpless. I hate how everything just has to fall apart. I hate how I can't see him. I ruined everything. Now, I can't see the person I love more than anything. 

                      I looked out the window and watched as little drops of rain landed on my windshield. I watched as they slowly rolled down, gathering at the bottom of the window. It reminded me a lot of my past. All the bad things I did, slowly gathering up till one day, they get out. Just like how the drops fly off as you drive, collecting on the car behind you or disappearing in the air, but the remains still floating about. 

                     I wish I could just hop into a time machine and erase everything. Make everything okay again. Make it so I never did anything stupid. Make it so Anthony knows for sure I will be there for him and erase all his doubt. I can't though. I just have to find a way to make things right before it's too late. 

                   The rain drops quickly began dropping much faster. I buried my head into my knees. This is the worst day of my whole entire life. 

                   Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. Anthony, like me, is a twin. Him and his sister Beverley are really close. When their mom had died, they were stuck with their father who was a total jerk. They basically only had each other to rely on so they got pretty close. Now since they both have their own lives they don't see each other very often but they always have contact with each other. She and I got really close because of them too so maybe she will be some light in the tunnel.

                 I quickly pulled out my phone and began searching for Beverley in my contacts which was pretty hard. Anthony has this thing where he loves to put emoji's down for every single person in his phone contacts so one day, he did it for me. Now all of my contacts are emoji's rather than names. I swiped up and searched for the keyword 'Beverly' and clicked on the first text that had a mention of her name. Anthony's, of course. I kept looking and eventually found her texts. Please. Please. Please work. 

                I clicked on the little circle with her image above the emoji's then clicked on the info button that showed up below. I quickly selected her number and called her. Please pick up, Beverley. Please. 

              "Hello?" Beverley asked, pots clashing in the background. Beverley lives with her boyfriend Albert and Albert's sister Melissa. They were all really close and Melissa just needed somewhere to live. Since their apartment was so cramped though, it was really hard for us to all hang out together there so we haven't seen them all in a while. 

             "Hey, It's Sean."

            "Did you guys get back together?" She asked smugly. 

            "No. I'm afraid something much worse," I mumbled, my voice shaking a bit. I tried so hard to control it but I couldn't. 

             "Did he say he's never getting back together with you?" Beverley asked, teasingly. 

             "He got in a car crash," I replied quietly. The whole scene replayed in my head. The cars crashed at the intersection. Me being yelled at to back up.  All of it hitting me like a bullet. 

             "H-he what?" She replied, her voice cracking. The sink went silent and the pots fell into the sink. "What hospital is he at?" 

             "NYU Langone in Brooklyn."

              "I-Is he okay?" 

              "I have no clue. They won't let me in!" I shrieked, tears rolling down my face once again. 

             "Then meet me at the front door and you can come with me," Beverley replied. She moved the phone away from her head to shout for Albert and Melissa to come but it didn't really make her shouting any quieter. At this point though, I didn't care. I was going to get to see Anthony. I was going to get to know that he's okay and maybe even make things okay again. This could be my chance to get us back to the perfect life we had before. I am going to see Anthony. 

                I smiled softly. Thank goodness I had decided to call her. Thank goodness I didn't decide to just stay quiet. Now Beverley knows too which is great. 

                I heard Beverley slam her apartment door and their shoes clashing against the hardwood that coated their apartment buildings' halls. Within minutes, they made it outside and out to the car. 

                "Do you want me to hang up?" I asked quietly. 

                "No. I want to make sure you're doing okay."

                "You don't have to worry about me," I replied, watching the raindrops again and listening to Beverley's windshield wipers through my phone's speaker. 

                "Well, I need to make sure you're doing okay too. These past months have been torture enough, I doubt this is doing anything to help. Please just stay on with me." 

                 "Okay," I replied and stay on the phone with her till she arrived at the hospital. What I really wasn't expecting was how much it would hurt to see Beverley. Beverley and Anthony are identical twins. The only thing that's really different between them looks wise is their gender, hair length, and the fact her features are a little sharper. Otherwise, they look the same. Not seeing Anthony in so long just made it so much harder to see her. It felt like I was being teased. I was seeing someone almost identical to him but I couldn't see the person I longed to see the most. I took a deep breath and tried to ignore it though. 

              I looked at Beverley whose eyes were glazed with a film of tears and felt my heart shatter. I know this has all been hard for me but I can't imagine how much harder it must be for someone who's spent their whole lives with Anthony. I walked over to her and gave her a quick hug. 

            Albert turned to her and tried to wipe the tears off her face. 

           "Those aren't tears, it's just raindrops," Beverley lied. She didn't like showing her emotions too much. "Let's just go and see my brother."