Dastardly Days of Deceit [BkDk]

Chapter Eight: Teenage Dirtbag

Katsuki Bakugo just couldn't fall in love. Right? It made sense. He was a bitter asshole that existed out of pure spite. Love was something that just wasn't in his very small thesaurus of feelings, alongside spite and anger.

His parents didn't love him, at least not anymore, his teachers didn't care for him, his friends only tolerated him. He was sure if he had a dog, it wouldn't even like him, and dogs love everyone. Nowhere could he see love manifesting in his stupid life.

And he wouldn't have allowed it anyways. He couldn't fall in love. He was fine being his aggressive self with no one alongside him. What would that even feel like? Love? What did it look like? He had no idea what love was like, as stupid and depressing as it was.

But Izuku. That damn nerd. Every second he spent with that green-haired dork, his heart pounded. He sweated uncontrollably. He had started to trip over his words. He never fucking did that! How could someone he viewed as his greatest enemy so long ago, crawl his way into his heart like this? It wasn't right. He couldn't rationalize it. And he tried rationalizing everything.

When he smiled, he was so beautiful. It was so innocent, and pure. He always had something to smile about. Katsuki was jealous of it, really. He found smiling so difficult, finding comfort in scowls and frowns. What was there to smile about? Everything that came into his life sucked. And sucked really bad. But Izuku could find the good in anything. He could stumble upon something terrible and immediately make it better, because he was so goddamn kind. It was infectious.

And his need to help people. Katsuki once thought it was annoying, but it soon became one of his favorite things about Izuku. He would drop everything to help someone, even before UA. He was a true hero, not blinded by the corporate scumminess of it all. He was raw talent, and his compassion shined through in everything he'd do. Then again, Katsuki always knew this. Izuku had tried saving his life, after all.

His laugh was infectious too. Sometimes Katsuki would make stupid comments and dumb jokes just to hear it. How loud and excitable it was. When he giggled, Katsuki felt his chest flutter, and his heart pounded against his rib cage sharply. Sometimes he thought he was dying, or at least having a heart attack. But he was more than okay with that, because it meant the last thing he heard was that laughter.

And when he blushed, Katsuki realized he was really falling for him. When his whole face would light up pinks and reds, depending on the severity, he couldn't help but adore it. When he was focused, and his cheeks were slightly tinted pink from worry and focus, or when he laughed and he went red. The blush was especially evident when he got embarrassed, dark red covering his whole face and neck. Katsuki tried getting him embarrassed more times than he'd like to admit. He just looked so cute doing so.

Was this what love felt like? Was this what it was supposed to feel like? It was consuming his waking thoughts. It didn't feel nice. He was grossly sweaty, his mind raced, and his heart pounded like he was going to die 24/7. What was so enjoyable about that?

Truthfully he could barely look at Izuku without getting nervous. The room always smelt of caramel when Izuku was there, because he was becoming increasingly nervous to do the right thing the whole time. Trying to act normal was damn near impossible. He had always been spectacular at hiding his feelings, burying them deep inside, but now he was having a hard time. He felt all of his feelings bubbling up to the surface, begging to be released, but Katsuki wasn't ready. Sure, he knew that Izuku had interest in guys. That still surprised him quite a lot. But that didn't mean anything in the grand scale of things. That didn't mean that he had feelings for Katsuki at all.

Katsuki figured he wouldn't have feelings for him. And he understood it completely. Look at him! Yeah, he was strong, somewhat attractive. He could understand the surface level attraction, however, he knew that his personality ruined everything. His exterior was rough and ragged, and he had the utmost confidence in himself. But the confidence displayed itself as aggression, violent, belligerent. He was on top of his class, he was in top of the world. He knew where he stood. He was very accomplished, and very powerful. People were in awe of his ability and brute strength.