My Silent Melodies ➵ [ my life 2015-16 ]

2/15/15 • They Killed Me

I'm forcibly making myself go numb, feeling wise. It's the only way I know how to cope with pain of this magnitude. I'm lost in my personal void and a few precious voices keep calling to me, keeping me conscious so I don't succumb to the will of this darkness.

The darkness he pushed me into, and the pain she inflicted.

They don't seem to realize how much it hurts to take a breath, to crack a smile, to force a laugh you know is fake and empty. I was fragile and they dropped me to hit the cold floor and shatter. My pieces are everywhere and I desperately cling to parts of me I can't loose but...

He took a part of me I didn't know I needed and bent it so far out of shape it's hardly recognizable... And she snapped a chain with such force it shook me and left me shaken and unable to trust people fully.

I'm falling.

I'm dying.

I'm drowning.

And they don't care. I know they don't, because if they did they never would have hurt me in the first place.

Guys, I learned a valuable lesson. If you think someone is playing you, they probably are. And chances are they will mercilessly stab you in the back and smile as you fall forward to lay there paralyzed as your blood pools around you. There are people like that and they lie dormant in people you think you can trust. But in reality you can't trust them at all. And you usually don't know until it's too late.

I found out the hard way I meant nothing to two people I cared about.

And that killed me, because I thought they cared. Little did I know I was just a play thing to them.