My Silent Melodies ➵ [ my life 2015-16 ]

6/30/15 • I am

I am a heart breaker. 

I am a walking disaster. 

I am still in pieces, okay?

I am tired of people forgetting.

I am tired of talking and not being heard.

I am sorry, for being a rift.

I am not meant for you.

I am not to be judged.

I am regretting ever saying those words.

I am not alone in understanding.

I am not afraid to speak my mind.

I am not willing to lie about it.

I am trying to fix this.

I am hurting too.

I am still not understood by them.

I am tired of crying.

I am going to be alone, I want to be.

I do not regret my choices.

I am not in love with her.

I am not going to pretend.

I am not in the wrong.

I am not blaming anyone.

I am sorry I ever let it happen.

I am sorry I got people upset.

I am upset too.

I am mad at me too.

I am going to be just fine.

I am able to smile and laugh again.

I am thankful to those who did listen.

I am thankful to those who tried to understand me.

I am going to make mistakes, often.

I am okay with me.

I am the way I am and that is okay.

I am Kelsey, and I have learned there is more to my life than romance, but I will carry the memories like precious treasure. Even the dark moments hold their worth, and it teaches me who really gives a damn about me. It tells me who will whisper about me and who will say things to my face. It shows me who is there because they actually worry if I will be alright. They give me advice, and cry when I cry. They understand my struggle and don't scold me for my mistakes. 

I am happy to have met them. They are my real friends, even if some are miles from me,  even if they have only recently become a friend, even if we don't speak every day or every week. They make me believe I am really beautiful.

I am beautiful. Inside and out.

Because they never stopped believing in me I learned to think that too.

Thank you for that.