Outcast

11 - Flashbacks

Louis POV 

"Hey Louis! Don't be a spoil sport! It's just skinny dipping!" 

I blinked rapidly, looking at the group of people around me. Craig was bobbing in the water, completely naked, with a girl wrapped around him. We had always come to this little lake when it got to hot. Me and Craig had found it one day when we had been out exploring. Ever since then we had come here every opportunity we got. But this time it was different. Craig had bought a whole group of his football friends and some cheerleaders. 

He had thought it would be fun to go skinny dipping. I wasn't too sure. 

When the girls had been stripping off and jumping in the water I watched as every single one of the guys stared at them. I couldn't look at them. I don't know why! I knew it was normal to admire girls and stuff but, I just didn't like them that way. 

It was scary. 

But what was even more scary was when the boys had started stripping off. Something strange happened. I was looking at them the way I was supposed to look at girls. It wasn't normal! I know that! I'm not supposed to think of my friends that way but . . . I couldn't help it. 

"I'm not feeling too well Craig!" I called out to him, "I'm just going to go home!" 

He looked at me for a moment, shrugged, then turned back to the girl on his arm. I quickly turned around and rushed back through the tree's. I felt like my heart was being torn apart from the inside out, and it wasn't a nice feeling. I realised as I was walking that my cheeks were wet and I cried out in frustration! Why is this happening? It couldn't possibly be cause I was jealous of Craig being with that girl! I didn't even know the girl! 

The only possible explanation . . . 

I'm crazy. Yep. That's gotta be it. 

'Or you could like Craig' My subconscious screamed at me. 

I felt even more tears rush down my cheeks at the thought. I can't like Craig! It's just not right! Everything will change if I like him! 

I don't want things to change. 

I can't let things change. If I want things to be normal I have to push these feelings aside and continue on with my life. I need to let it go. 

I hastily wiped away the tears and continued walking through the tree's, desperate to get home to my warm bed. 

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"He'll wake up soon . . . don't worry." 

"But what if he doesn't? I can't lose him Zayn! He's too important to me!" 

"And you're important to him too! Obviously you've both been hiding something from each other." 

"I had no idea . . ." 

"When do you start Chemotherapy?" 

"In a few days . . ." 

"Let's hope he wakes up before then."

I groaned as the familiar voices faded away and the blackness took over. 

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"Darling, you haven't left your room in two days! What's the matter?" 

I rolled over in bed and looked at my mum, trying not to cry, "I've stuffed up mum."