Outcast

21 - How To Save A Life

Louis POV 

"What do you mean?" I cried, leaning forward and snatching him by the collar. 

Niall let out a whimper and pulled back, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I-It was n-never meant to be this way Louis! J-Jessie s-said that h-he'd be fine! I d-don't understand why this happened!" 

"You're lying!" I accused, my lip wobbling. I was not going to let him get to me. Harry couldn't be dead. He just couldn't. This isn't real! There can't be a world that doesn't revolve around Harry. There just can't be. 

"I w-wish I was Lou. But I'm not! You have to understand things l-like this happens sometimes and t-there's nothing we can do about it." 

He wiped at his cheeks and glared down at his hands. "I'm g-going to get in so m-much trouble when I go home." He mumbled. "I've b-been here all n-night and I w-wasn't supposed to stay." 

He continued mumbling incoherent words but I didn't care. What's the point in caring about anything anymore when I have nothing to live for. I've just been told the love of my life is dead. The one person who I counted on for everything is gone. Never coming back. 

My world has ended. A piece of me is gone and I'm never going to get it back. 

Harry is dead. 

The door opened and in walked a wrecked looking Liam followed by Zayn. They both had bags under their eyes and Liam looked as if he was going to collapse at any moment. 

"Hi L-Louis." Zayn mumbled, his eyes downcast. 

I think that's when the realisation finally settled in. I let out an inhuman cry and grabbed the sheets, clenching them in my fists. My eyes shut on their own accord and I cried out in desperation. 

"He can't be dead!" I moaned, finally letting the tears I had been holding in spill. "It can't be true!" 

"Louis-" 

"NO!" I screamed, throwing my pillow off my bed. My eyes snapped open and I pointed at Zayn and Liam, "Why are you guys alive and HE isn't! You have the same fucking cancer! IT'S NOT FAIR!" 

Arms encircled me and I fought to push them off. "Calm down Louis!" 

"GET OFF ME!" I cried, sobbing into the nearest chest. My entire body shut down and I relaxed into their touch. 

"Harry." I sobbed, "I want Haz." 

Sniffles and other wrecked sobs joined mine and I gripped the person tighter. "It'll be okay Lou." Came Zayn's soothing voice, he rubbed my back and pecked me on the head. 

This only made me cry harder. I can't believe this is actually happening. This can't be happening. It just isn't possible. 

"He loved you so much Lou. You don't even k-know." Liam whispered, tightening his grip around my shoulders. 

At this point I couldn't even decipher who was holding me. Was it just Liam? Or Zayn? Or maybe even Niall? Or all three? 

"I'm dreaming." I mumbled between sobs. 

I heard a smash and then a painful cry and I buried closer to whoever was holding me. I don't want to witness other peoples pain. I just want to wallow in my own pain. I don't think anybody has ever felt as horrible as I feel now. 

I couldn't save him. My Hazza. I couldn't keep him alive. And I tried so hard. 

I just want him back. I want him to be the one holding me. I want him in my arms. I just want him all together.