Outcast

15 - Disappeared

Louis POV

We went home the next week. Jessie told us that we would have to be back in two weeks for more chemotherapy, but otherwise she was quite pleased with Harry's progress. Liam had gone home a few days before Harry had but Zayn still had to stay in the hospital. Harry and him were beginning to share secretive looks and act more cautious around us. I was hoping it was nothing too serious, but it had to be, otherwise Harry wouldn't keep it from me. He had learned from that mistake.

His mother had been talking to us all afternoon about our protocol for school. Harry hadn't wanted to tell anyone other than Niall and I, and I respected that wish. But with his hair slowly falling away we had to find a way to cover it up. I didn't want Harry feeling even more uncomfortable than he already was.

He hadn't lost too much hair, only small clumps, but it had unnerved Harry, and he was feeling more self conscious then ever.

"So you're going to wear a beanie everyday?" Anne asked, staring at her son with a hard glare.

Harry let out a sigh and I squeezed his shoulder, "Yes mum, promise. No-one will find out."

"This is what you wanted Harry, I'm just looking out for you." Anne continued, stirring her tea slowly.

Harry gulped, "I know . . ."

I gave him another squeeze and he smiled uneasily. "Thank-you mum, I think I'm going to take Louis up to my room now. I need to talk to him."

Anne smiled wistfully and watched as we stood from the table. I gave her a small smile and followed Harry from the room. He led me up the stairs and towards the familiar bedroom.

The bed was as soft as I remembered it, and I could see Harry looked pleased to be back in his own room.

"So what did you need to talk about?" I asked, laying back on the pillows and closing my eyes.

I heard him breathe deeply before cuddling up beside me, snuggling into my chest. "Forget about it. We can talk later. Right now I just want this moment with you."

"There'll be plenty more moments like this in the future Haz." I reminded him, gently poking his nose.

He sighed, "Maybe, but for now I'd like to just marvel in this feeling."

"I love you Harry, always remember that."

A strangled sound escaped his lips and my eyes shot open. I looked down startled to find Harry burying his face in my shirt, shaking slightly.

I pulled him closer and shushed him, pressing kisses against his curls. "Baby what's wrong?"

He sniffled, "I don't want this to end Louis. I know I'm being a baby about all this but I'm so scared!"

"You aren't being a baby. It's perfectly normal to be scared, even though you have nothing to be scared of. Everything will be okay."

He pulled away and sat up, "You don't know that Louis! Things could go wrong! The treatment could fail! I could fucking die! Why can't you seem to realise that?"

I watched as he ranted, trying my hardest not to burst into unwelcome tears. I managed to keep them under control as I pondered my answer. "I do realise. I just choose not to believe it." My voice came out low and shaky, but it had the desired affect. Harry's face softened and he reached out for me, but I flinched.

I pushed off the bed and walked away, ignoring Harry's calls. I needed to be alone for a while. I needed some air. The stairs creaked underneath my feet as I walked and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. I didn't want to alert anyone, mainly Harry's mother, to my whereabouts.