Outcast

12 - We'll Get Through It All

Louis POV

I didn't hear him after that. His voice. It just stopped.

It all stopped.

My mind was full of images though. I saw him. I saw him laughing. I saw him smiling. I saw everything that made me wish I was awake. I didn't want to miss all those precious moments I'd share with him. And if I didn't fucking wake up I would!

Because Harry has cancer. He has an illness that kills people. I don't even know if he'll survive. I don't know what's going to happen.

I can't predict the future. But I want to be with him! I want to help him and hold his hand while he goes through everything.

I want to be by his side.

But I can't.

I'm stuck in this goddamn bed. I can't move. I can't see. I can barely hear. The only thing I can do is think.

And that's all I've been doing. Whether it's my subconscious or not, it's making me feel horrible. I'm a horrible person. If I had gone to the doctor and discovered what was wrong with me earlier then I wouldn't be here at this moment. I wouldn't be away from Harry. I'd be by his side and I'd be helping him.

But would he have told me? If I hadn't gotten sick would he have admitted to being sick?

That's the million dollar question. Maybe me getting sick was a good thing. At least now I know why Harry always seemed to be hiding something. Cause he was.

And what he was hiding is huge!

I can't believe he didn't tell me! Did he think I would be angry? Did he think I would leave him to deal with this by himself? It isn't his fault! I wasn't going to judge him, or pity him! Life dealt him a bad hand and all I want to do is help him. Is that too much to ask? But no . . . I'm stuck in a bloody hospital bed.

As long as it's me and not Harry.

But that's not even true. He's probably in his own hospital bed, going through god knows what. Oh why did this happen?

What fucked up thing is wrong with me now?

Then it struck me.

What if this isn't as simple as I thought it was. What if there is something really wrong with me.

What if I die?

Well I can't let that happen. Not while Harry's still alive in some room getting Chemotherapy.

No way in hell.

I focused all my energy towards my hands and felt my fingers twitched. I did it again and groaned as the dry feeling in my throat became more prominent.

But then something strange happened.

It was like a knife was being shoved into my brain.

I cried out in pain and my hand flew to my scalp. My screams got louder as my brain throbbed and I thrashed around, trying to escape from the horrible feeling.

"MR TOMLINSON! CALM DOWN!" Someone yelled.

Tears streamed down my face at the pain and my back arched off the bed. "Help me!" I gasped out, reaching for something, anything.

Then suddenly, it was all gone. The pain, everything.

And I faded back into a blissful darkness.

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Harry POV

The first step was the pills. They didn't want to rush me into anything, and that was what my mother asked for. She knew I hated needles, it didn't really make a difference what I hated and what I didn't. A nurse came into my room nearly every five minutes just to ask me how I was feeling and it was taking all the strength not to yell and scream at them.