In Love With A Bully (A Mikan x Hiyoko Story)

Chapter Eighteen

Hiyoko's Pov:

I was in my room now. Staring up at the ceiling baffled. I couldn't believe it. Mikan Tsumiki, one of the sweetest girls in the school, snapped at me. She even called me a bitch and a good-for-nothing asshole. Which really surprised me. It was strange because I wasn't angry at her. Usually I'm always angry when someone insults me. But I knew deep down she was right. I am a pathetic good-for-nothing asshole. And a little bitch. My whole life all I ever did was insult and use people. And I knew it was wrong, but my mother and grandmother always said it was the right thing to do. Plus, I came from an elementary school full of bullies. Bullying was the only way you'd survive there. So I did what I had to do. People would always talk behind my back. So I always had to keep my guard up. I've never actually had real friends before. It was always hard for me to make friends. Since people only saw me as a bully. I don't expect people to feel sorry for me. I just wish people would understand me. Know the real me. Bullying wasn't always apart of me. I used to be this sweet loving person. But over time I started to notice that sweet loving people only get beat up, used, and become broken. So I made this cruel persona apart of me. I didn't want to, but I felt as though I had to. I wish I could show people the soft side of me. But they'll only use me. But.... maybe with Tsumiki, things can be different. I felt horrible for yelling at her like that. She was right about me bossing her around too. Who was I to go around telling her what to do when I avoided her for two straight days. I felt even more horrible when I saw the look in her eyes. She had this hurt and sad look. But at the same time cold and fierce. I never want her to direct that look towards me. But she did. And I deserved it. Tsumiki deserves better people in her life. I'm no good for her. I don't blame her if she starts avoiding me. I got under the covers in my bed. I was really tired after that argument. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep.