Where My Demons Hide

Chapter Eighteen - Star

"What did he say?" P'Gun asked.

"He hung up." I replied, gripping the counter. I stomped my foot. "What in the hell is his problem?"

"Don't be so hard on him." P'Gun advised. "He's a little stuck in his ways—he tries to fight all his battles alone."

I sighed—not sure if I should be frustrated or angry or both.

"He's a good man, Nong." He tried again. "Did something happen between the two of you?"

My cheeks heated and I hung my head. "Um..." I wasn't sure how to answer that question. Maybe Dragon didn't want anyone to know we were—well, we had—that we... "It's a long story."

P'Gun tilted his head while staring at me. He smiled. "You're in love with him."

"Love?" I sputtered. "I'm no such thing!"

"Fine." P'Gun smiled sympathetically. "What excuses are you using? Maybe it's that he works for your father. Hmm, well, that could be it but the fact you haven't known him all that long could be more of your deal."

"P'Gun..."

"I won't say anything to Dragon." He promised. "It's not my secret to tell. But if I could figure it out, Dragon will be able to. You're a horrible liar, N'Star."

"I can't breathe."

P'Gun stepped toward me but I walked away. Locking myself in Dragon's bedroom, I sat in the center of his bed trying to catch my breath. I lost track of how long I'd been sitting there, but suddenly I was overwhelmingly tired. It was as if my eyes could barely stay open, no matter how hard I tried. P'Gun's words kept playing over and over inside my head and soon, I was too exhausted to do much of anything but curl into a ball and snuggle into his pillows.

They smelled like him.

Inhaling deeply, I closed my eyes.

Sleep swarmed in on me.

I didn't dream.

It was unclear how long I'd been sleeping before something warm and soft brushed my forehead. I dragged a hand across my forehead and snuggled back into the pillows. It happened again and I rolled over only to crash into something hard. Groaning, I opened one eye to come face to face with Dragon.

I shoved him and jerked away from him.

"You told m to come home to you." Dragon eased forward. "Now you push me away."

"We have to talk." I sat up and curled my legs under me to face him.

"Okay." Dragon sat up and faced me.

"Do you really think I'm that vain that I'd turn my back on you because you got hurt?" I demanded. "Did that happen in the military?"

"Yes."

"Is that why you are no longer in the military?"

"Yes." His voice cracked.

"I'm proud of you, P." I admitted. "You did something not many people would have the courage to do. You lived your life in service to others—I'm not strong enough to do that."

"But—"

I shook my head. "No. If you don't want to sleep with me, then that's fine. You've changed me, P. As long as I can sleep in your arms, I'll be satisfied with that. I don't want you to give me something you don't want to, but please..."

Dragon leaned across to hugged me tightly. Before I could gather myself, he was kissing me and turning me on the bed to press me into the pillow. I exhaled and tangled my arms around his neck, but he pried my arms away. When he sat back, it was to peel his shirt over his head and tossed it behind him.