Where My Demons Hide

Chapter Thirty-One - Ohm

"Can I ask you something?" I lifted the shirt to the light. I could see through it, so I set it back on the hook.

"Sure." Star replied. He was hunched down in front of a case, looking at watches.

"Why are you looking at watches? You already have one."

"I know. P'Dragon's birthday is coming." Star replied and stood. "What did you want to ask?"

I stopped what I was doing and glanced over my shoulders, ensuring no one could hear what I was about to ask. Leaning forward, I cleared my throat. "How did you decide to—well, you know?"

Star turned to look at me, confusion written all over his face. "I know what?"

"You know?" I wiggled my wrist at him. "With P'Dragon."

Star laughed while shaking his head. The salesgirl hurried over at Star's wave and he pointed to a particular watch in the case. "Can I see that one?" Star asked.

"Khaa." She nodded and dipped down to reach for it.

"There wasn't really a choice." He told me in a whisper. "P'Dragon—well, with us, there is this thing—almost like I can't resist him. It's always been there."

She placed the watch in front of Star and he carefully inspected it. When he set it back in the holder, Star told her he would like to get two of them and she smiled brightly as he handed her his bank card. While we waited for her to ring the watches through, I exhaled.

"So, you had to sleep with him, is what you're saying?"

"Had—not like he forced me to. I meant had like my body wouldn't settle down until I did." Star replied. "Even though he and I didn't like each other at the beginning, it didn't really mean much. There was something about him that was just—deep down I knew I wanted him. After a while the hate I felt bloomed into something else. Why? Are you thinking of sleeping with P'Eagle?"

I glanced over my shoulders then back at him and nodded. "He's afraid to even kiss me now."

"Um..."

"The last time, remember?"

Star nodded and accepted his card, the receipt and a beautiful black bag with the watches. After offering a curt nod, we exited that store for another where I could get an outfit just because I won my most recent case.

"Are you sure you're not thinking a little too much about this?" Star asked. "I mean, P'Eagle has told you he doesn't mind waiting until you're ready."

"But I am ready." I sighed. "I'm ready. I'm just afraid."

"Of what?"

"That I may decide to do it and then not satisfy him." I admitted out loud. "I mean, he's been with other guys. This is new to me—and to make it worse, he's so much more mature. I can tell he likes it a little—well, spicier than most men."

Star chuckled. "And how exactly can you tell that?"

"The way he kisses me." I could feel my cheeks burning. "And the way he grabs me. Like my arms, around my hips, my waist..."

"So, tell him you're not into the rough stuff."

"Whoa!" I held up a hand. "Let's not get hasty. I never said I wasn't into the spicier stuff. Well, I didn't think I was. But every time, I can see this uncertainty in his eyes and sometimes he apologizes if he kisses me too hard, or—it's like...like..."

Star replaced the graphic t-shirt he'd been eyeing and faced me fully. "Almost like he lost control and caught himself and realized he might have hurt you."