bounded | 2MIN

0.06

KSM
I woke up I'm a pile of sweat, was the break up all a dream? I checked my phone, 3:20am nightmare huh? But when I looked at my walls they were empty.

We did break up, I was trying I deny everything and it was so hard to believe as it was just suffocating to believe what I didn't want to call the truth.

Was hyunjin no longer my boyfriend, I was simply going mad, I got up from bed and switch my lights on, nothing. All the memories we once shared that I hung up all gone.

My first real boyfriend my bestfriend someone who was my everything, all gone. Time was going much slower than anticipated, it was now only 3:25.

I was frustrated, at hyunjin, at myself, at the time, at the walls that were bared and slightly ruined, and the fact that I wanted to cry another waterfall.

Picking a book up I got from hyunjin as joke stating 'a book about break ups' I decided to turn to the first page to read.

Chapter one, stage one: shock and denial.

Surprised but not really, the amount of denial I was in though was very much shocking to me, I found myself crying every 10 minutes after the break up, no joke.

I wanted to sleep, but I couldn't, I quickly glanced over to the box of stuff that I was supposedly going to Hyunjin that had his belongings in it, as well as my favourite- no Hyunjin's favourite hoodie.

Another box beside it had many of our albums filled with photos and Polaroids, gifts he had given me, as well as albums I couldn't bare look at the same because they all reminded me of Hyunjin.

The only Hyunjin related item that was still up was on my desk. It was picture of us when we were kids. It hurt me, we were so little and we did everything together, everything. I hated everything now.

I let out a sob looking at the memories from the box, hurting myself even more than it should've, I was wondering how Hyunjin was coping, but knowing him he would chase somebody else.

My heart ached harder at the thought of him being with somebody else, I couldn't even imagine it. "Hyunjin ah... I still want you" I let out loudly.

The book that was once on the lap I threw across the room making a thump sound, muttering and cursing: at the shock I went back to looking at the box.

I grabbed Hyunjin's hoodie, the grey expensive material that still had his scent lingering on the depths of his hoodie, the hoodie I bought with him.

It was the hoodie that he always wore, the hoodie I helped him look for, he said he had never given it too anyone besides from me, was it too late to go back?

But we broke up for a reason, neither of us had the spark but I really didn't want to admit it, not at all. Maybe if I fought longer maybe if I stayed a little longer we would be okay.

The same thoughts repeating over and over again, then I looked out the window, sitting at my window sill, looking down on the rainy city.

The same seat I would sit at the have conversations with Hyunjin, maybe I should love else where, this flat held far too many memories and I didn't know whether I could cope with the amount of them here.

Still working at a small newspaper agency wasn't going to do me much Justice but at some point I did want to move to the government and work there for a full on job.

But I'm still young.