The Price of Love

Chapter 21: Stay With Me

Jin

I stumbled out of Bella's room. My eyes were blinded by the tears I could not hold back. I had lost her. Forever. The only woman I would ever love was out of my reach. And it hurt. It hurt like hell. Why wouldn't she listen? Why wouldn't she let me explain? I should tell her everything--my father's threats to her and her family, my desire to keep her family unharmed. I should just march back into her room and tell her.

My hand was on the door handle, but I didn't move. I inhaled deeply. She wouldn't believe me now, would she? She would think I was just lying in order to keep her by my side despite my impending marriage. I couldn't give up so easily. I had to at least try. I wiped my eyes roughly. Yet my hand did not open the door.

"Seokjin?"

I jumped, startled by the unexpected voice. I turned around and saw Fiona looking at me curiously. If she wondered why I was staring at a door with tears in my eyes, she didn't ask. Instead her eyes seemed to exude sympathy.

"Are you not feeling well?" she asked. "You look pale."

"I--I drank too much," I replied softly. And I just broke up with my girlfriend in order to save her family from financial ruin courtesy of my father, who is forcing me to marry you for business reasons. And now she hates me because she doesn't know why I did it. I wanted to yell this, but I knew that none of this was Fiona's fault, so it was pointless to get angry at her.

"Is this your room?" she asked.

I sighed and shook my head. I was glad that she didn't ask why I was standing outside this particular room. I guess she wasn't as bad as I had made her out to be in my mind.

"I'm sure whatever is bothering you will seem better when you wake up tomorrow," she said. "You do look a little unwell. Let me help you to your room, okay?"

She wrapped her arm around my waist from the side and moved me along down the hallway. "Tell me when we get there," she said, "because I've been lost all this time trying to find my own room. This house is enormous. It's much bigger than my family's home."

"Uhh," I grunted disinterestedly. I was still thinking about Bella's brush-off. She hadn't given me a chance to explain the situation. I was trying to do the right thing for everyone, especially her parents. I couldn't allow my father to ruin their livelihood. God, why did my head feel like a balloon? I stumbled a bit and felt Fiona tighten her grip on me. "Uh, h-here. My room."

We stopped in front of what I was sure was my room.

She moved her arm away from me. "Are you sure you will be okay? Do you want to talk about anything? I find that I always feel better about my troubles when I talk to someone."

I blinked to try and focus on her face. "Uh, I don't know." I guess it was evident on my face. Getting your heart broken definitely shows in your demeanor. "It's...it's late."

"It's not that late," she replied. "I know that you probably hate the whole arranged marriage thing, and I'm sorry about that."

I looked down guiltily. "Oh, no. It's...not your fault." I felt myself swaying slightly on my feet and thought I should probably go to bed soon before I fall over.

She reached across me and pushed the door open. "You look like you should really lie down. Come on." She propelled me into the dark room, her hand on my back. "I think you're right. You did drink too much. Um, where is the light--"

"No! No lights," I muttered as I stumbled toward my bed, narrowly missing the coffee table. If there was any way I could stay in darkness for the rest of my life--or at least for the rest of the week--I would be grateful. My mind was still on Bella's words: she wanted to hate me. She was going to try and hate me. How could she hate me when I loved her so much? I rolled face-down on the bed. Why? Why? Why doesn't she want to stay with me? I heard someone crying. Was it me?

"Oh, my God! Seokjin, are you okay? What's wrong?"

I heard a female voice saying my name with concern. I wished it was Bella who was concerned for me, Bella who was here wanting to know what was wrong. I love you! I love you! Bella, I can't live without you! Please stay with me!

"Stay with me," I mumbled into the comforter. "You said you would...stay with me." Then I felt my chest convulse, and I began sobbing loudly.

"Okay, okay."

I felt the mattress dip as someone's weight pressed it down next to me. A hand touched my back gently. I rolled on my side. "You're here?" I asked in a croak. Bella!

I reached out my arm and pulled her down beside me. "Oh, I'm so glad you're here," I whispered into her hair. "I wanted to tell you...I want you to know how I feel."

"How do you feel?"

I hugged her tighter. "I want you to be with me. There are...so many reasons...I don't know how to explain. I just want you to s-stay...with me."

"Okay."

"Cara mia," I breathed against her cheek. I love you, Bella, my darling, darling Bella. "Ti amo." She was so pliant in my arms. She must have forgiven me. I knew she couldn't hate me, not when I love her so much. I kissed her. It felt different. I knew something was off before everything went black.