The Price of Love

Chapter 23: Harsh Reality

Namjoon

I knocked at the door, and Cindy opened up, her face looking anxious. She motioned me to come inside.

"Namjoon, I don't know what to do," she said rapidly. "I'm sorry if I bothered you."

I shook my head. "No bother. Where is she?"

Cindy sighed. "She locked herself in her room as soon as she got home from the airport. She's been crying for the past couple of hours, and I can't get her to open up. I know she listens to you. I'm sure it has something to do with Seokjin. Have you talked to him?"

I shook my head again. "No." I reached Bella's door in a few strides and listened. I could hear her muffled sobbing, and I grimaced. The sound was like someone drowning in grief. I knocked on the door a couple of times.

"Bella, can you hear me? Bella? It's Namjoon. Please open the door. Please?"

The sobbing slowed down then seemed to stop. After a few long moments, the door knob turned slowly.

"N-Namjoon?" The door was open only a narrow slit.

"Hi," I said softly, noticing her red, puffy eyes. "I know that it's probably not a good time for you, but will you talk to me?"

She wiped her hand over her face and nodded slowly. She opened the door to let me in. I glanced back at Cindy, trying to reassure her with a nod then walked into Bella's room.

In bits and pieces she told me what had happened at Seokjin's father's house. I wanted to say I was surprised, but I was not. Not really. My father worked as one of Kim Sunghoon's top managers. Our fathers sent us to the same private school when we were kids. That's how I had gotten to know Seokjin so well.

I had learned how controlling his father was not only in business but in personal matters. I remember a long time ago Seokjin telling me that he was sure his father would arrange his marriage for him. It was one of the reasons he did not want to work for his father. The truth was that most of the wealthy business owners arranged marriages between their children. Even Taehyung, Seokjin's cousin, was afraid he would end up in an arranged marriage, just like his parents. Tae's father was related to Seokjin's father and worked for his company, Kim Worldwide Incorporated.

It was an ugly, harsh reality that I did not fear would affect me because I was not a relative. Yet, this reality had made Bella miserable, and I felt anger not only at Seokjin's father, but at Seokjin himself. He knew that such a marriage was a likely possibility. Why hadn't he done something to make sure Bella was not hurt? How could he have sprung this on her without warning?

She sobbed into my chest as I held her trembling body.

"I don't understand," she was murmuring. "Why?"

I patted her back. "It's something that is difficult to understand. I'm not defending Seokjin, but I know that he always said he did not want any part of his father's schemes to control his life. He would not be on board with this, no matter what it seemed like."

Bella's cries had subsided and now she was sniffling. "S-So why would he break up with me if he does not p-plan on getting married to that girl?"

I sighed. "I don't know, but I'm sure there's a reason. Maybe he was trying to throw his father off his plans somehow. Maybe he wanted his father to think that he was on board with it so that he could think of a way out of it."

"B-But then why did he s-sleep with her if...if he isn't going through with it?"

I froze. "He what?"

She moved away from me and wiped at her eyes. "He slept with his fiancée. The night he broke up with me. He said we had to break up, but then he asked me to stay with him. When I threw him out of my room, he spent the night with her. With Fiona."

I closed my eyes. Damn it, Seokjin! How could you do that? I looked down at Bella's face. "I wish I knew what to tell you. Maybe it wasn't what you thought."

"She came out of his room still wearing the previous night's dress--the whole walk of shame thing. His clothes were all wrinkled and undone," she replied. "Other than seeing them actually doing it, I think that's proof enough."

I moved back a bit to look at her. "You might think it's conclusive, but there could be another explanation. I know it's difficult, but try to be rational. You really don't know what happened. You just saw her walk out of his room. They both were wearing the same clothes as the night before. It doesn't necessarily mean that they had sex." I paused. "Did you ask him?"

She shook her head.

"Do you want me to ask him?"

She shook her head more vigorously this time. "No! No, please! He'll think I put you up to it, and I don't want him to know that I'm upset. I don't want him to know that I care. Please, Namjoon, don't. I'm not sure I want to know anyway. That reality is too harsh. It no longer concerns me. It shouldn't."

I sighed and squeezed her shoulder. "I don't agree, but okay. When communication breaks down in a relationship, what do you have then?"

"He failed to communicate that he was engaged," she replied, "and now we have no relationship, so that's that."

I felt her snuggle up to me, and I put both my arms around her. For a moment I wanted to imagine that she was doing this because she wanted to be close to me and not because she was grieving over some other guy. I had to be honest. In the back of my mind, I was a little glad to be here with her, holding her while she let go of Seokjin. Everyone might joke about it, but I did have a thing for Bella. I always played it off, of course, because Seokjin was my best friend, but I really did like her. My heart always beat faster when I saw her, and I couldn't help smiling when I saw her. And now, having her this close to me was making my senses go haywire. I squeezed her a little tighter against me and planted a kiss on top of her head.

"It's going to be okay," I murmured. "Why don't you get some rest? Things will look better after you've recharged."

She held my arm when I tried to get up. "Joon, wait! Can you...can you stay with me?"

I gulped. "Uh, sure. I can just sit over there--"

"No," she interrupted me. "Lie down next to me. Please."

I glanced at the door nervously. "Uh, Cindy..." I let my voice trail off. I certainly did not want her combative roommate to think I was taking advantage of Bella. I was scared of her.

Bella shook her head. "Don't worry. It's not like we're doing anything. Please, just stay here next to me until I go to sleep." She made room for me on the bed.

I nodded and slipped in next to her. She rolled closer and placed her arm around my chest. I heard her murmur "Thanks," but I couldn't respond because I was concentrating on making sure my body didn't respond.

Although her breathing eventually became even and soft, I stayed wide awake. How could Seokjin have let her go--have let this go? It was amazing having her body next to mine, knowing that she needed me to keep her company. I liked this a little too much, but I didn't allow myself to even think about the three words that I'd wanted to say to her for a long time. That I had to keep to myself. This was my harsh reality.