The Price of Love

Chapter 32: Under His Spell

Bella

Two days! I had seen Jin two days ago, and I still wasn't over it. He had made me so angry with his arrogance and outrage, as if I were the one doing something wrong! Yet he was marrying someone else...in ten days! I felt as if I couldn't breathe. Seeing him made me angry, yet it underscored the fact that I was so angry because I still loved him so much.

I punched my pillow as I lay sprawled on my bed. Why was I afraid to trust him? I loved him too much. He could easily break my heart into a thousand pieces, and I would be left behind like a pathetic fool.

Yet when I looked into his eyes, I didn't see a cold, uncaring heartbreaker; I saw someone soft and wistful and concerned. It was almost as if he cared about what I was going through even though he was to blame for it...because he was engaged to another girl.

I punched my pillow again. Nonsense! If I loved him, I had to believe him even if that made me look like an idiot. I didn't want to leave my room only to see the looks of pity on everyone's face. Everyone would say they had warned me that Seokjin didn't do relationships. Seokjin did one-night stands. I was so sure he had fallen in love with me the way I had fallen for him.

But what if I had misread the entire thing? What if I was just another in a long line of girls. I should have known especially after realizing that his favorite part of our relationship was sex. That was what he was known for. I was such an idiot to believe that someone like him would change!

I recalled last semester's final exam week, when I had been studying so long that I had forgotten to eat for two days. Seokjin took the time to cook dinner and bring it to me, even while he had his own exams to take. He sat on my couch studying, while I ate at the table. Every few minutes I would feel his gaze on me. He would smile and encourage me to keep eating.

I remembered the time we went Christmas shopping before driving to my parents' house on Christmas Eve. We had been out for hours, and the cold began to seep into our bodies. We ducked into a cute little bakery for some hot chocolate and rolls. As we sat at our table feeding each other pieces of bread and talking, we noticed an older couple, white-haired and small, looking at us from a nearby table.

"You look lovely together," the lady had said with a smile. "Are you newlyweds?" The old man next to her just smiled and nodded.

I glanced at Jin then back to her. "Oh. We're not actually--"

"But we will be soon," Jin interrupted me. He reached for my hand and brought it to his lips. "She is the woman of my life." His dark eyes were focused on mine.

The lady smiled even brighter. "Oh, yes, I can see that. You two will be very happy together. Just like my Sam and me. We've been happy together for fifty-nine years."

I inhaled then smiled. "That's wonderful! Congratulations! That is beautiful!"

She smiled, her eyes crinkling shut. "I remember when Sam here looked at me the way your young man looks at you, dear. You two will be very happy together. I know it."

"Thank you," Jin and I both said at the same time, then laughed.

The older couple got to their feet and shuffled out, giving us one last wave before disappearing into the cold, gray afternoon.

"Fifty-nine years!" I cried. "They are so blessed. May God give them many more years together." I sighed.

"You heard what she said," Jin remarked. "I agree. We will be very happy together." He squeezed my hand. "As a matter of fact, I've been wanting to mention something, but I wasn't sure if it was the right time."

"What?"

He smiled and shook his head. "Oh, don't be alarmed. It's nothing bad." He pulled my hand to his lips for another kiss. "You're graduating next year. I'll be done with my master's degree. I was hoping that you'd consider allowing me to be a permanent part of your life."

I felt my brow furrow in confusion.

He chuckled. "I mean, I want to marry you, Bella. I want to be by your side always."

I had to believe he meant that. His eyes had looked so sincere when he said those words. I had to hold on to that feeling. I hoped I was not simply blinded by my love, blinded by the high that I got whenever I was near him, whenever his skin touched mine. He had put me under his spell, and now I couldn't break free. I didn't want to.

I felt the tears running down my face again, and I buried my face into my pillow. If I was so sure he loved me, why was I crying? Why did I feel so afraid?