The Price of Love

Chapter 50: Always You

Bella

I was sprawled on my bed, gripping my phone tightly in my hand. I had already memorized Jin's last text message from having read it so many times. I had been trying to find any hidden meanings, anything that was not what it seemed.

Jin: I know that things have

gotten out of hand,

but believe me, Bella,

there is nothing in this

world that means more

to me than you. I

would do anything for

you. I hope you believe

me. I love you beyond

all reason, and if you

decide you want to be

with me, if you are

willing to believe in me,

please let me know. Call,

text, email, whatever.

Please. You are my world.

You are my life, darling.

I love you. Only you.

Always you.

But everything was exactly as it seemed. In that message, he had expressed exactly what he wanted to say, what he wanted from me. And I couldn't respond. I didn't know what to say at the time I received it. I was too angry about his impending marriage, and I wrote this off as his last-ditch attempt to sweet-talk me into some type of illicit relationship.

He had asked me to believe in him, and I had not. That is why I hadn't responded, and that is why I couldn't respond now. Too much time had gone by. He must have realized that I lost faith in him.

When Namjoon told me the whole story, which Fiona's email had already hinted at, I felt the blood drain from my face. Jin had been trying to protect me and my parents and his father and even Fiona. He had taken on so many responsibilities on his wide but very human shoulders. All he had asked me--the person who supposedly loved him--to do was believe in him and his love.

And I hadn't. I had abandoned him.

I wasn't worthy of his love. He had tried to move mountains, bring down the stars--he had risked his life for me. And I couldn't even send him a text message. He deserved better. I was a sorry excuse for a girlfriend. I gulped. Ex-girlfriend.

Was that my status now? Ex-girlfriend? I mentally kicked myself. Why hadn't I called him? Or texted him? I had been so selfish, wrapped up in my own indignation to think about what he was going through. I should have known that he would not have thrown me over for another woman. I should have had faith in him.

But I betrayed him, just like his past girlfriends. I hadn't been after his money nor had I cheated on him with another man, but I had betrayed him nevertheless. I had promised him my love--my everlasting love--so many times, yet when it counted, I had left him alone.

I glanced down at my phone again, at the second text he had sent right after the first one:

Jin: But if decide that you

can no longer put up

with me, then you don't

have to call me. If I have

hurt you that badly, then

just let go. If you don't

call me, I will let you go

no matter if it hurts me.

I want you to be happy,

with or without me.

I'm sorry for causing you

pain. So very sorry.

Tears stung my eyes. Six weeks had passed. Six weeks since his marriage had been called off. Six weeks that he must have waited for me to call him. And even more than that since I had last seen him. Had he already let me go? If he had, then I totally deserved it.