Broken // Michael Clifford [Finished For Now]

Chapter Thirty Six

Michael's POV

Its finally Christmas break. Midterm exams are finished and I can take my mind off of school for two weeks, not to mention the fact that I get to spend the whole break with Diana. The first day of her dad's trial starts up tomorrow though, so maybe just most of the break. The court was able to move it to a sooner trial date. I think they just want it over with before Christmas which is in exactly eight days in case you were wondering. Diana doesn't seem too worried about the trial though, so that's good I think. She's been acting a lot happier lately. She's been smiling more and laughing with all of us more often too. I'm still a little upset that she wanted to be just friends for right now but, at least she is making an effort to be happy.

I'm on my way to go pick her up right now actually. She had her last meeting with the prosecutor today so they could go over things before tomorrow. I pull into the parking lot of the local police station where they always meet. As I walk into the building I see officer Landon talking to a few more of his colleagues.

"Hi officer Landon!" I wave. He was a little skeptical of me when we first met a few weeks ago, but I'm pretty sure he approves of me now. He excuses himself from his current conversation and then walks over to greet me.

"Hi Michael, how have you been?" He asks politely.

"Good. Our winter break just started so that's a plus." I tell him.

"That's always nice." He agrees. "How has Diana been? I wasn't able to talk to her today."

"She's been doing great! She seems a lot happier." I smile at the mention of her name.

He looks surprised by my response. "Really? Hm, I'm a little shocked that she isn't worried with the trial beginning tomorrow."

"She told me that she wasn't worried about it at all." I say, remembering our conversations about it.

"Well, that's good to hear then." He smiles. "I have to get going now. Goodbye Michael."

"Bye officer." I nod my head in his direction before sitting down on one of the benches to wait for Diana. I only wait for a few minutes before I see her walking towards the door. She looks a little flushed and her eyebrows are drawn up in concern, but as soon as she spots me her face lights up with a smile.

"Hey!" She greets me.

"How was the meeting?" I wonder curiously.

"It was fine." She replies as we walk out into the cold winter air and to the car. "We just reviewed a bunch of stuff."

"So you're all set to take the stand then?" I ask her.

She nudges my shoulder with hers. "Of course I am. Did you ever doubt me?"

"Well, maybe just a little." I joke pinching two of my fingers together to demonstrate how little.

She exaggerates a gasp and clamps her hands over her chest to show how offended she is pretending to be. Her smiles falters a bit but, she quickly catches her mistake and makes her lips spread even wider to show her teeth.

We both get into the car and I start to drive home. The drive is quiet, only the radio plays in the background. I look over at Diana only to see her eyes drooping a little as she leans her head against the window. I haven't really noticed how worn out she's looked these past few days underneath her smiling face and bubbly laughs. I'm hoping its just because of the stress caused by the exams we took for school.

"You alright over there?" My voice echoes in the vehicle and her head barely moves to look at me. Instead she fixes her gaze outside of the window at the snow-covered scenery we pass by.

"Yeah." She yawns. "I'm just a little exhausted."

"From what?" I'm honestly a little worried about her now. I know she's been a lot happier lately but, what if the trial being tomorrow is slowly bringing her back to where she was a less then a week ago? No, it can't be. She would tell me, right?

****

Diana's POV

"Just the exams." I lie as calmly as possible. The truth is I haven't been able to keep my mind off of my dad's trial starting tomorrow. I'm terrified to have to show up and face him again. I keep telling Michael that I'm not worried just so he doesn't have to worry about me worrying so much. I've been trying hard to act as happy as possible around him and the other guys lately. The thing is, its just an act. Inside I think I'm falling apart even more than before. I feel like I have to keep all of my feelings bottled up ever since Michael told me he liked me. Yes, I like him and I want to tell him what's going on with me but, I don't want him to be so focused on me all of the time. The only way to get him to quit worrying about me is to act happy. So that's exactly what I'm doing.

I will admit that its hard. It makes me miss smiling real smiles and laughing real laughs. Right now its all fake and I think that's only making it worse for me. But, I can't tell Michael. If I tell him he'll freak out and care too much about me. I love that he cares so much about me, I really do, but, sometimes I worry that he's getting too attached to me. Him revealing his feeling for me only made that fact clearer. I told him that I want to stay friends now so I can focus on everything else going on in my life right now. In reality I don't want him or me getting too attached to the other. Everyone I have ever loved has turned on me. My mom committed suicide, my dad started to abuse me, and my best friend hates me so much that she is helping my dad stay out of jail. I'm so afraid that Michael will get hurt by me and my messed up life or that I will turn him into something he's not.

There's a part of me deep down that knows I'm being stupid. That knows Michael would never even think about hurting me in any way, shape, or form, but I still insist on trying to distance him as much as I can without losing him completely.

I want to trick myself into thinking that nothing good can ever happen to me, and if anything good does happen it won't last long. It will end in pain, sadness, and tears and I will lose another part of myself that I can never get back. I want to prevent myself from feeling anything and being around Michael every single day is making that hard. He wants me to be everything that I know I can't no matter how much I want it too. He makes me feel when I want to forget what it feels like to feel. I want to forget about all of the things that make me happy because then I only miss them more.

Most of all I think I want to push Michael away because he makes me want to love. And every time I have loved in the past I have been burned by the flame it ignites. The flame is always warm and inviting at first. I always admire it for a while before deciding that I want more, that I want to feel what its like to love. So I reach out and I touch the flame. And it always ends in tragedy.

So, this time I'm going to try and protect myself from the alluring glow and promising whispers of the emotion known as love. My only hope is that I don't stray too far from the light and find myself in the cold and lonely darkness just beyond the it.

****

(A/N):

I DOUBLE UPDATED YAY FOR ME!!!

This was just a really short and crappy filler to show how the two of them are feeling so sorry if I disappointed any of you. Its needed for what is coming next (you'll find out what the big 'next' is in about two or three chapters (aka the big thing I have planned)).

I also have some more news! I have just begun writing a new fanfiction called Mirror Mirror. I'm not sure if I want it to be a Luke Hemmings or Harry Styles fic so please comment who you would prefer! Those are the two guys that I picture the most as the lead for this story! I really want to know what you guys think! (And its not going to have anything to do with fairytales even though its called Mirror Mirror).

I also want to know if you guys want me to start posting for it now or when Broken is officially finished so again PLEASE COMMENT WHAT YOU WANT!!!! I REALLY WANT TO KNOW!!!

I love all of you so so so so so much!

~Lizzy