Broken // Michael Clifford [Finished For Now]

Chapter Twenty Five

/this chapter is for my friend Kara because i have a feeling she will really like the end of this chapter;)/

Diana's POV

I took a slow, deep breath to try and calm myself so I could continue the letter that was in my shaking hands.

-

Dear Diana,

I'm sorry for what I'm about to do, but I want you to understand that it is not your fault. You are not the reason I am doing this. I love you with all of my heart and I know that it's going to be hard for you to believe that when you read this, but it's true.

I love you and I always will. You were my first and only child and I am so proud of everything you have ever done. I don't want to leave you. I want to see you become the person you've always wanted to be. I want to see you on your first day of college; I want to watch you walk across the stage and hold your diploma in your hand when you graduate. I want to help you move into the first place you can call your own. I want to be there when you fall in love and when you walk down the isle, ready to start your new life with the man you love. I want to see you hold your first child and my first grandchild in your arms as you smile down at their small features. I want to see you grow up Diana, but I won't and that kills me inside.

I don't want to hold you back from your future and thats what I would be doing if I stay in this world and watch you grow old. I would be the cause of your worrying because of how I have become.

I'm just not happy anymore. I'm never going to be happy again. I'm not that laughing and care free person that I was months ago. You may not understand why, but I'm going to try and explain it to you now.

There is so much evil in this world Diana. So much I want to keep you from because I couldn't manage to do so myself. I let everything get to me, no matter how small. It was my undoing, the thing that crumbled me and tore me apart. Everyday it got worse and worse. I stopped seeing the good in people. I couldn't live in a world with only bad people. It wasn't bad at first; I only saw it in people I barely knew. Then my mind convinced me that the ones I loved and trusted, including you father, were evil. Each and every day my mind found something worse than the last in every person that I talked to or even looked at.

But never you Diana. You were the only person that remained good. I could still smile at you and trust you. I could still love you.

It just wasn't enough. You can't live in a world in which you only love one person. You can survive, but you can't live. You start to feel dead inside no matter how hard you try not to. You start to fade and get depressed. You start to feel unwanted an unloved by anyone. And that's just what I did and I'm sorry.

But Diana, I need you to promise me that you will always be strong. That you always try your hardest to see the good in every single person you meet. Promise me that you will always surround yourself with people you love and who love you, even if it takes a long time to find those people. I need you to stay true to yourself and never let anyone put you down. Do what you want and what is right for you. Follow your dreams Diana, because they only last a little while. I want you to be the girl that I have always known. Don't turn into someone you're not. Please Diana, just promise me those things?

Above all, I need you to promise me and yourself that you won't become me. That you won't be your own destruction. That you will never let yourself fall down and not at least try to get back up. Don't drown under the weight of the world, explore the life that is hidden under the water that you're trapped under and maybe it won't seem all that heavy.

I love you Diana and nothing will ever change that. You kept me here longer than anything and it is so hard leaving you now, but I don't want to hold you back. I want you to be the person you are meant to. I may not be able to watch you grow up in person, but I can look after you wherever I'm going to end up after this.
I will always be by your side,
~Mom
P.S- Look in the top left drawer of your father's desk.