Broken // Michael Clifford [Finished For Now]

Chapter Four

Diana's POV

I sat at the picnic table a little while longer after Sarah left for her run. I wondered if my dad was home yet, I hoped he wasn't. He was angrier more often and began to drink after the 'accident.' He would always interrogate me when I got home, asking if me stupid and pointless questions. He would just keep asking until he could find something to yell at me for.

I gave up trying to defend myself when he got mad and started to throw insults at me. I tried to convince myself that I would get used to it, but each word would hurt just as much as the last, if not more. He would say things he knew weren't true just so he could dispose of his own anger and self-loathing.

I sighed while I collected my things and walked to my car. I had been at the park for about an hour so my hands were a little chilled from the autumn air. When I reached my car I unlocked it and turned the heat on only a little bit to warm my hands up. I sat there thinking of errands I could run to stay out of the house for a little longer until I finally remembered that I needed milk and quick-to-make breakfast foods.

I pulled out of the parking lot and drove past the park's trees, admiring the way the leaves looked as they changed from their usual deep, forest green to the beautiful oranges, reds, and yellows they became as they wilted away. It was amazing how pretty the leaves looked even while they were dying.

The problem was that people in life didn't do the same; they would fade away into nothingness before they died and that was in no way beautiful. It was an awful sight to see, but it was even more painful to watch when you knew them so well. In my case it was the little things that you wouldn't usually notice that made all of the difference. Their smile would get a little smaller everyday. The excitement in their voice would start to fade. The light in their eyes would blow out and become dim.

By the time anyone would notice these things it was too late for them because they were already too far gone. They had already said all of their goodbyes in a discreet way. They had already tied up as many loose ends as they possibly could. They had already pictured everyone they loved and held closest moving on without them in their life.

Little did they know that those people they said goodbye to never got to say it back. Those loose ends they tied up didn't matter because when they left it only created more loose ends than before. They didn't know that those they loved and held close could never fully move on without them in their life.

***

I pulled into the driveway of my house around 4:30 after going to the store and getting what I needed. I grabbed my school bag and the groceries before I made my way into the house.

As soon as the door opened I heard my father get up and drag himself to the door. "Where the hell have you been all day?!" he boomed at me.

"Today was my first day of school dad, I told you that last night and again this morning before you left for work." I replied as calmly as I could.

"What time did school let out?"

"2:30."

"Then where have you been for the past two hours?" he questioned, raising his voice slightly.

"I went to the park to work on a few things and then to the grocery store."

"What could you possibly have to work on? It's the first day of school for God's sake!"

"They do give homework on the first day of school Dad." I snapped.

"Don't you dare give me attitude! You have no right to speak to me that way!" he yelled, his fave contorting in anger.

"And you have no right to speak to me that way! I have done nothing wrong!"

"You raised your voice at me after lying to me!"

"Lying to you?" I questioned.

"You didn't tell me about going to the park and the store when I asked you where you had been all day! I mean come on, I knew you were stupid, but not knowing when you lie to someone, especially your father, you have to be a real dumb ass to be that stupid!"

I felt tears begin to stream down my face when he said that to me. I wasn't sure how much longer I could handle this without saying something back at hime that I would regret, like I had done with Sarah. The problem is that my dad isn't as understanding and forgiving as she is and he would probably throw me out of the house.

"And on top of being a dumb ass you're little baby who can't handle the truth of anything! You're too weak to take any criticism from anyone! You're too self-absorbed to care about anyone else around you!" I swear if he yelled any louder the house would collapse.

"I-I'm sorry for ly-lying to you. It w-won't happen again." I managed to say through my quivering lips. By now my whole body was shaking because of the violent sobs that rang throughout my body.

"It better not! Get out of my sight, I can't stand to look at someone as pathetic as you right know!" he growled.

I ran upstairs to my room and quietly closed my door to avoid anymore conflict tonight caused by something as little as a slamming door. As soon as it was completely closed I threw myself onto my pile of pillows and cried until I couldn't cry any more.

He had yelled at me before, but never that loud and never had he said such harsh words to me. I wondered if he had more to drink after work today than usual. I couldn't usually smell and abundance of alcohol on his breath but tonight I did.

Nothing had ever been the same since the 'accident' she was involved in had occurred, but everyone seemed to think things would get better, that they were getting better. Little did they know that things were only getting worse.