Broken // Michael Clifford [Finished For Now]

Chapter Forty

Michael's POV

She's so cold. She's shivering in my arms and her lips are almost blue. And she's so pale. Just looking at her is killing me inside. Is this what she'll look like if she dies? Cold and broken?

No. I'm not going to let that happen. I can't let that happen. I've already called an ambulance but it won't be here for another six minutes. And for all I know that could be too late. And suddenly I feel myself fill with anger at Diana. Why would she do this to herself? To me? The only thing I know for sure is that I will not let her die.

"Come on." I tell her, trying to stand her up. But she doesn't respond and I can see her getting tired from the pills she has ingested. "Diana, I need you to stay awake. I need you to stay with me, okay?"

I put her arm around my neck and pull the two of us up from the frosty ground. Her eyes are getting droopy and her limbs are moving slow and sloppy as she tries to walk with me. "Diana, can you please talk to me? I need you to stay awake come on." I ask with desperation laced in my voice.

"I don't..." She mumbles through her hazy state of mind.

I look at her as she attempts to speak. She's getting drowsier by the second and at this rate she'll be passed out before the ambulance can get here in time. "You don't what?"

"I don't- don't want to stay awake, Michael. I want to go to sleep." She tells me. It almost sounded as if she was asking permission to let go.

"No. You can't. I won't let you, Diana. You need to stay here with me. I know you want to." I try to convince her as well as myself.

"No I don't. I want to go away. It's easier. I'm just so tired."

And that's all I can take before something in me really snaps. And despite how broken I know she is right now and how much my heart is aching to see her like this I flip out.

"I will not let you die right now Diana! I refuse to let you do this! God dammit do you even understand what you've done to yourself?! Do you?! I thought you were trying to be happier; to move on! And then you go and try to commit suicide! I know you think it will make everything better, but it won't! The only thing it will do is kill you! You will be dead Diana!" I feel her flinch at my words, but I don't regret what I've said. She needs to hear it.

I can still feel my heart racing along with my mind, but as soon as Diana makes eye contact with me it all stops. Not in some cute way that would mean that everything might be all right, they stop like they do when you get panicked. Because her eyes are void of emotion and that's never happened before. There's always at least a sliver of something in her eyes.

"Michael, I completely understand what I've done." She starts. "I don't think you understand why."

"Then explain it to me."

"No." She shakes her head. "Not now."

"Then when? Diana what if- what if you die right here? Before the ambulance gets here?" I ask, my voice cracking as my vision gets blurry with water.

"That's the thing. You called the ambulance already. I won't be gone before it gets here and the EMT's will be able to help me." She tries to reassure me. God, I should be reassuring her right now not the other way around.

"How do you know that?"

"Because you found me. You weren't supposed to find me." She whispers so quietly I can barely hear her. "You weren't even supposed to care about me, Michael."

"But I do. I care about you so much, Diana and if I hadn't found you and you had died I'm not sure what I would have done." I admitted. "I just need to know why the hell you would even consider doing this to yourself, especially after what happened with your mom."

"It's all too much to handle. I can't take all of this anymore. I hate having to see my dad look at me the way he did today in court. I know he hurt me when he shouldn't have, but he's still my dad and I never wanted him to be put in prison. He's the only family I have left and knowing that he'll probably be put in jail for a few years is just a reminder of how alone I am." I noticed tears run down her cheeks again. "My best friend finally came back into my life the other week and I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could be okay again. That I could have some of my old life back. And then I met you. And you found out about what my dad was doing to me and now Sarah hates me and my dad might be put behind bars. I'm not saying that all of this is your fault, it's not, but you've made me realize that my mom left for a good reason and if I couldn't rely on my friend or even my own father how am I supposed to trust you? The only person I've ever been able to trust was my mom and if I have to die to be with her, then that's what I'm going to do." She explained, he voice getting quieter as she spoke. It was another minute before she spoke again. "And now that I say it all out loud it sounds stupid. If anything you showed me that there are still good people in the world."

And just like that all of my anger melted away. "You don't have to worry about being alone anymore. You can stay with the boys and I for as long as you want. All of us will be there for you whenever you need. Especially me." I promise her as we make it to the snow-covered path of the park. I can hear the sirens coming towards us in the distance.

She turns to look at me once again. "Michael?"

"Yeah?" I stop walking as I notice she's getting sleepier and struggling to stay conscious.

"I'm getting really tired. I don't think I can stay awake...much longer." As she speaks she starts sinking slowly back down to the ground.

I struggle to stop her from reaching the ground. "Diana! Diana you need to stand up; you need to stay awake, okay? You need to keep your eyes open, just focus on me." Before she can get to the ground I wrap one arm around her back and the other under her legs and pick her up so we can meet the ambulance as soon as it gets here. Her head lulls onto my shoulder and her eyes start to droop closed. I pick up my pace as the sirens get louder. "Hey! Focus on me! Don't close your eyes, you need to keep fighting." I say again.

I can see the ambulance now and it pulls up next to me, the two EMTs, one girl and one guy, sprinting out of the vehicle and getting a stretcher from the back.

"How long ago did she ingest the pills?" The guy asks.

"About seven minutes ago. I don't know what she took or how many exactly, but I grabbed the bottle." I responded as they took Diana from arms and laid her on the stretcher.

"Okay, we'll take it from here." Said the girl as she helped her partner put the stretcher into the back of the ambulance. "You can meet us at the hospital, only family can ride with us, sorry kid." She closed the back doors and the ambulance siren was blaring through the air again as it rode and I rushed to the car and followed right behind it all the way to the hospital.

*****

(A/N):

So heres the new chapter! I know its short, but its almost over *insert crying face emoji* and I'm honestly struggling a little because of writer's block which SUCKS SO BAD. But i will finish it for you guys and i also have a lot of ideas for new fanfics/one shots but i want to get a lot of it written before i start posting! The picture attached is from my rowyso concert which was absolutely AMAZING AND UNBELIEVABLE!!!

As always i love you all <3

~Lizzy