Mamihlapinatapai

Prologue

"Do you want to come with me or not?"

My eyes met that lifeless eyes devoid of all human emotions. Her body is glistening at that sticky human blood——blood of my own blood. The rustic, tangy smell of it is making me sick. A kind of sick that's sending delirium at the spit of my stomach.

We used to be so powerful. What happened?

I watched at how she calmly wiped the blood that covered her eyes.

"You want or you don't?" She asked once again. This time, she's running her fingers on the T-shaped dagger that she used to kill my father with.

Is she threatening me? Will she kill me too?

"Grant!"

The woman beside her just gently touched her arm. I caught the way the one handling the dagger softened at that mere touch. It's as if she's melting at that.

"She's just a child, Grant. Spare her life."

Without a word, The one named Grant kneeled infront of me. She's directly staring at my eyes as if she's reading what's running inside my head.

But she will never know. Just like everyone else, no one will know.

"Do you know why I killed your father, kiddo?"

I slowly shook my head, keeping my breathing still. But my hands are shaking in great fear.

"Your father killed my mother. So he deserves to die, isn't he? That's justice."

'So you do deserves to die too. That's the thing that's running on my mind but I kept my mouth shut.

She then lifted her hand, making the tip of her sharp dagger touch the sides of my cheeks. Again, I tried to keep still though my eyes are brimming into tears.

"B-bakit?"

That's the only word I had managed to utter. But enough for her to put the dagger away.

"That's exactly why it hurts the way it hurts." She said as if she's telling a secret. "You have too many questions, too many words, in your head. But those will be left unsaid. Like me, you have to suffer through the intricacy of feeling too much every single day of your life. It hurts like hell."

'You're wrong. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. It just doesn't hurt at all.

The woman who just killed my father stood up. She turned her back as if she hadn't robbed the future that I was once born with.

She's just walking away as if nothing terrible happened here

Tumayo din ako mula sa pagkakasalampak sa damuhan. Kung iiyak lang ako, magagaya ako sa Nanay ko na naging alipin lang din ng kalaban nilang tribo matapos mapatay ng tatay ko yung mga magulang nito.

It's funny how the once green of garden I used to adore too much became a bloodbath in a summer twilight.

But there's no more left for me, right? My father was killed. My mother just ended her suffering and killed herself. While I? I was the only misfit left.

"C-Cray.."

Dumako yung tingin ko sa batang halos kasing edad ko lang. Takot na takot sila na gaya ko habang nakatingin sa babaeng umubos sa pamilya naming lahat. Yung iba ay nagtakbuhan na palayo sa kakahuyan.

Nang hindi ako matinag ay nagtakbuhan na ang mga ito papalayo.

I could have ran away and saved myself too. Pero paano kung makuha lang kami ng mga kalaban ng tatay ko? Maraming galit sa tatay ko dahil masama daw itong tao.

So no! I am choosing the other path. I want to get away from here.

Walang emosyon na lumakad ako pasunod sa babaeng iyon. Tumigil ito ng mapansin na sumusunod ako. Pagkatapos ay bahagyang umiling.

"You want an easy path? Do you want me to ease you from your suffering?"

No, she should have taken responsibility of me.

"Paglaki pa ko, papatay din kita."

Inaasahan ko na magugulat man lang ito. Pero tumawa lang ito at saka aliw na aliw na nginitian ako.

"It's terrible, isn't it?" She crossed our distance just to hand me the knife. The same knife she used to kill my father. "It's terrible how we kill someone for our own peace and get killed for their own peace. It's like a cycle that never ends. You'll tell the story that should have been long buried."

"Grant stop it! Tama na! Huwag mong idamay pati yung bata. She's innocent."

"No, Sam. She's not. Have you seen her eyes? That was the same eyes I've had when I had my first kill. She'll became another version of me if I let her live."

They both turned the gazes on me. I could even feel the weight of it. It's as if they were trying to prove that their statements are wrong.

"If that happens, I'll just let her."

"G-Grant, No! Let's end it here. It's enough."

The one named Grant laughed. "How can you say an enough is enough, Sammie?"

The other woman just shook her head.

"See? You can't even tell. Because it will only be enough if we stop giving other people the chance to hurt us. It will only end if we kill them before they kill us." Dumako yung tingin nito sakin bago marahang umiling. "You'll be my demise if I let you live."

Kahit hindi ko naiintidihan yung mga sinasabi nito, isa lang yung tumatak sa isip ko.

She wants me to kill her too that's why she's letting me live.

****