Mamihlapinatapai

Chapter 21

Ember

"Tama na po. Ayoko na."

The child's cries and screams were both equally disturbing.

"Ayoko po!"

From the monitor of my laptop, I can see the way Tita Alli is crying her heart out while biting her lower lips that's almost bleeding as she suppress her whimpers and cries too. Si Tita Louella naman ay halos napaupo na sa sahig habang nakatitig pa din sa bata na nasa swivel chair.

The kid was being examined by Tita Leigh. Beside her is my Mom. Leaning on the mahogany table that's inside Tita Leigh's clinic.

"What's going on, Cray? Open it up to us. Let us help you."

I almost held my breath when Cray's eyes almost turned white and lifeless. She's obviously not on her best fit.

"Is the dosage just right, Leigh? Tama pa ba ito? Can we just reschedule this.." I saw my mother's eyes mirroring fear and guilt.

"It's your idea, Grant."

Why Mom?

"It's reminding me of Vanilla, Leigh. Fuckshit!" Mura pa nito at saka napahilamos sa mukha at frustrated na napasabunot sa sarili nito. "Let's stop this. I'm wrong! Zero is a nightmare. Damn it!"

"Sshhh." Tita Leigh cut my Mom. Pagkatapos ay lumapit ito kay Cray at hinawakan ito sa magkabilang balikat.

Cray almost forcefully shove her hand. Flinching at the other woman's touch. Pagkatapos ay tila wala sa sarili na para bang may itinataboy palayo kahit wala naman.

"Tama na po." Sunod sunod yung hagulgol ni Cray. "Ayoko po. N-Nanay.. N-Nanay. T-tulong mo ko."

In an instant, Alli was already beside her. Pinipilit nitong yakapin si Cray pero patuloy lang yung pagpupumiglas ng bata.

"Cray, baby. It's me." Kinukulong nito sa bisig nito si Cray. "I'm here, okay? I'll keep you safe. No one can hurt you now."

"Let go, Alliston. You're not helping." tinanggal ni Tita Leigh yung mga kamay ni Tita Alli na pilit na yumayakap kay Cray.

Cray just kept shouting as if she's writing in her invisible pain. She's screaming so disturbingly. Crying endlessly. Like a baby that's almost dying.

After almost an eternity, Cray lay limp. She stopped resisting.

"C-Cray, baby?" Untag dito ni Tita Alli. Natataranta. Nag-aalala.

Kasunod niyon ay yung pagtitig ni Cray sa kawalan. It's as if she's just accepting her fate. Bagamat ay may nag-aalpasan pa ding luha sa gilid ng mga mata nito. Para na itong buhay na patay.

"Fucks!" Frustrated na nasipa na lang ni Tita Louella yung sofa sa gilid nito. Mukhang hindi pa nakuntento dahil pinaghahampas pa nito yung sahig kung saan halos nakasalampak na nga ito ng upo. "Fuck them all. I'll kill them! Who did this to a kid, Grant?!"

"P-Pooper. Our baby." Niyakap ni Tita Alliston si Cray na panay pa din ang pag-iyak. Bagamat ay hindi na ito nanlalaban.

"Was she.." Napalunok ako nang itinanong iyon ng Mommy ko na tila ba nag-aalangan kung sasabihin ba yung nasa isip nito o hindi. "Was she raped, Leigh?"

"Tell us, No." Halos maglumuhod na si Tita Alli na tila anumang oras ay mawawala na din sa sarili nito. "Please, Leigh." Umaagos na yung luha nito. "Tell me my daughter was not hurt. I c-cant!" pinunasan nito yung luha nito. "I might kill someone."