poison & wine, mgc

eleven

Yesterday feels like a dream, or more realistically a nightmare. It's like I can still feel him on me. It doesn't help that I know that he lives nearby. Louis doesn't know that but the fact is still unsettling.

     I would ask Niall to skip today but I don't have a reason that doesn't require me to tell him about yesterday. So, I get ready for school.

     I used to not care about uniforms. It made it pretty easy to pick an outfit since I wake up so late. But now, the clothes are associated with what I was wearing during Louis's attempt. I feel gross in them. I don't hike up my skirt today.

     Maybe it was too high yesterday, that's why he did it? No, stop. Michael said it's not my fault.

     That's another thing, Michael.

     Luke knows something that I don't. I'm sure if I think hard enough that I could figure it out. I could read Michael like a book, if I tried hard enough. Oddly enough, I want to talk to him today but would he find that weird?

     I go downstairs to see Niall. He's making my coffee, a smile on his face.

     "Good morning," Niall looks at me, "You look beautiful today."

     "Thanks Niall," I smile, taking my coffee once he's done.

"Everything alright? You didn't talk much to me yesterday and you seem so gloomy this morning," Niall asks me, resting his hand on my shoulder.

Every part of me wishes to tell Niall about what happened. I want to tell him what happened and hear whatever advice comes out of his mouth. But I don't think I could manage to get the words out. I can't even think about it for too long without crying. This is the worst that I've felt in a while.

"Yeah, just been really tired lately," I shrug off his question.

Calum pulls into my driveway. I give Niall a goodbye hug and leave the house. Once I climb into Calum's car, he immediately gives me a concerned look.

"Your uniform looks different," Calum observes my outfit.

    "I just didn't roll my my skirt today," I nod. I didn't think he would notice.

     "Why not? You always do. Are you sure everything's been fine?" Calum says.

     I understand that Calum just cares about me but I don't think I can stand being asked if I'm okay by one more person.

     "Yes, I'm fine. Please, stop asking me that," I sigh.

    My classes go by as fine as they can. Staying focused is harder than usual. Even when I'm not thinking about what happened, I'm zoned out thinking of something else's.

      Lunch time.

      Ashton sits with us again, probably because he can sense something is off with me. He brought me a cookie from his house today. His mom always makes the best kinds.

     "So, you still up for the party this weekend or?" Calum asks.

     I completely forgot that I said I could have one. I don't necessarily feel like having people over anymore but it could be a nice distraction.

     "Sure. Saturday night is a good time," I give a half-assed smile.

     "Cool, cool. I can't wait," Calum smiles back.

     Lunch goes by fast. Ashton decides to walk me to english class today. As we walk, his hand continues to graze mine as a "it's okay." He used to do that since we can't hold hands in school without a teacher calling PDA.