» an hour long thought session

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the ribbon of my ballet shoe is untied. i don't want to tuck it in.
there is a ring of cold tea from my empty mug. it stains my nightstand.
these violent delights is lying faceup on my bed. i don't want to read it
the stuffed owl is upside down below the bookcase. i can't turn it up.
there are used tissues and pejoy wrappers scattered across the desk.
the bottommost drawer of my desk is open and overflowing.
i should clean it
i don't want to

i have a c in geometry and my parents hate me if i fail.
i keep watching khan academy videos but what's the point
i had an attack and i couldn't focus
i didn't chant my hebrew today
there was no black tea
i keep zoning out at the worst times, i'm a failure,
and i'm in the middle of a three-hour dance class
what's the point, why

it's 6:10 at the end of march 2021 and the sun is shining
there are plants surrounding a year-old tree outside my window
on my windowsill i keep a small plant in a unicorn pot
tonight, i'll watch the sun set and read a book
and tomorrow, i'll reread the book thief
maybe i'll smile again

[ 3.27.21 ] 

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