» 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 « 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

» not like them

i am not like them.
my eyes are too wide, they say.
 my hair is too light, even for a biracial family —
my hair's a shade lighter than my white dad's —
doesn't help that i want to cut it too.

i'm always too confusing
and i choke on all my words.
and they're not what i meant to say.

i am not like them
because as i type this
i am listening to music and drowning it out
so i don't have to listen to dad and d yell about basketball ( a glorified game of catch, really ) then sneer when i ask to watch shadow and bone.

i am made out of them, though.
mom yells and hisses and snarls and i do too
dad can silence me with just a glare, i silence him too

they work with honeyed words and open hands
i try to, too, but my words are not sweet enough
and my eyes are not wide enough
though i take in more than them 

[ 5.21.21 ]