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» mud pies

c:

i still love you. 

i don't recognize you now,
because the c i loved played with slime
and made mud pies created out of sand and water
from the outdoor tap

hey, here you are!
you grew up, so did i, huh?
i watched you nearly decapitate a guy today in dodgeball
and laughed at the fear on his face

but all i can remember is that time two years ago
when you waved hi to me through the glass window
and the kid next to me asked how i knew you when i waved back
and i had to tell him that we were best friends once.
he didn't believe me.
that's fair, because i've drawn in to protect myself and you've
become wide open to do the same and
there was no way we were best friends once.

i learned how to lose a friend a while ago
but it still doesn't change the long-gone mud pies in your backyard
that we made just in front of the fence,
smelling of dog shit and afternoon sunlight and smores,
and have long become part of the dirt.
i learned long ago that you can't change memories.

so, c, i still love you
thanks for once being my best friend. 

[ 5.27.21 ]