Serendipity |bts | OT7|

the fall

It had been a week, the nightmares were back. She found herself slipping a lot more frequently. The boys were stressed over the new album, plus they were concerned for her. It was a recipe for disaster.
"Hobi, are you okay?"
"Fine. I'm fine. I'm just busy can you just give me a minute?"
"Okay."

"Jin?"
"Not right now."
"Oh..."

"Yoon-"
"Busy. Go to someone else."

"Hey joonie can we-"
"Baby. I got lots of paperwork to do right now I kinda need to be left alone."

"Kookie? I have your clothes."
"Yeah yeah just put them over there. Can you not just walk in here again please? I got stuff to do."
"Sorry."

"Jimin-"
"Honey, please. Out."
"Alright..."

"T-"
"Jagiya..."
"Okay, I'll come back later..."
"Thank you, I really need to finish this and you're distracting me."

Of course they didn't mean it, but it hurt anyway. She sat on the couch in a blanket trying to write a little. Got herself to doctors appointments, she was finally able to start working again and got herself down to the dance studio hearing Hobi and Jimin speaking before she walked in.
"I don't know man she's just always there."
"I know, I wish she would understand that we're busy."
"Trust me. It's like she forgets that work comes first."
"Yeah, well, it's annoying me." She pulled her hand away and walked back up to the dorm. She got to Yoongi's room and knocked before going in to get some clothes. He was laying in bed finally crashing after days of work and sleepless nights.
"What are you doing?"
"I just left my clothes in here..." he huffed pulling the sheets closer and she got worried for a moment. Everything in her body told her to leave it alone, but she couldn't. "Yoongi?"
"Hmm?"
"Am I annoying you? Any of you?" He sighed sitting up finally looking at her with tired eyes.
"Kitten. I'm really trying to get some sleep-"
"So I do?"
"I haven't got the time right now to deal with this?"
"With what?"
"With you. Can you just go please." It was more of a demand than a question. She gave a nod picking up her clothes.
"I'm sorry, sleep well. I love you..."
"Yeah, close the door when you go please." He hid himself under covers and she felt the tears starting. She left the room and walked straight for the front door.
"Jagiya-" he stopped her seeing the pain in her eyes. Tae was an attentive lover, he could almost tell without looking when something was wrong. But right now he was blind to it all. She paused looking over to him with nothing but hope that he would pull her into his arms and put her troubles at ease. "You left your notepad out again. Can you not make a mess. We have too much to do." She gulped a little giving him a small nod.
"Sorry." She left the dorm without saying another word. Better to be out their way she thought. Take up less room. Would they even notice? Would they care? She thought about everything that was about to happen with work, touring, constant stress, travelling, living out of cases. This was about to get worse. A whole lot worse. The question was, could she deal with it?

It took 5 days for them to notice the lack of presence, and the lack of clean washing. It was Namjoon who noticed first after waking up alone one night and reaching out for her. The next morning he knocked on the apartment door and let himself in. There was their girlfriend, wrapped up in a blanket falling asleep on the couch.
"Hey." She looked over with sad eyes letting him come to sit down. "Have you been crying?" She didn't say anything, only paused the tv and looked over to study how tired he looked.
"You noticed I was gone?"
"When?"
"5 days. I waited for one of you..." he felt unbelievably guilty about it all. 5 days? And he only noticed because of his own selfish needs.
"I'm sorry... we should've-"
"Doesn't matter. I get it. You're all busy and I'm just in the way."
"What? I never said."
"Hobi and Jimin said I annoy them. Tae said I'm making to much mess. Yoongi hasn't got the time to deal with me. Every time I've come to check on one of you I've been asked to go away. I get it." He closed his eyes for a moment realising how harsh they've all been. So that explains the tears.
"They didn't mean it baby. None of us do... it's just-"
"You're stressed. I get it. All I was trying to do was help. I'm sorry for being in the way-"
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Make me feel bad. I feel bad enough as it is." He noticed the bottle of pills on the coffee table and picked them up.
"Anti depressants." She confirmed standing up and grabbing the other 3 bottles. "The doctors been fine by the way."
"Why are you on these?" She shrugged taking them from him and putting them away.
"They think I'm going to have a break down. Something about my dad dying and my ex turning up, plus a busy life. They say it's bound to happen."
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"Because this is the first real conversation I've had with you guys in a week and a half." There was that guilt again. He hadn't even noticed. They were all guilty of it, getting so absorbed in their work it's all they could think about.
"Have you spoken to-"
"Yep. They said I should think hard about the come back. And they-" she stopped herself not really wanting to tell him.
"What?"
"Their suggesting stepping away from bts. Completely in a work setting. They worry about the impact on my mental state." She clicked her tongue almost brushing it off. What kind of leader was he? He knew that he missed a couple meetings but when they contain something with big, how did it slip under the radar.
"And do you agree? What do you want?" She thought for a moment coming to sit back down.
"I just want to feel okay again."
"Baby..."
"I'm doing it joon. If I keep this up I'll end up killing myself for it. I didn't want to stress you guys out more. I was going to wait until after the album release."
"What happened to discussing things as a team?"
"We were supposed to, we weren't there." He got up walking away from her.
"Joon-"
"What about all of us then? What about our relationship?"
"I never said we were breaking up."
"Until that stresses you out too much. Then we're gonna be thrown away too right?"
"Namjoon-"
"Save it. I'll spare you the stress. I'm done. We're over."