Justice League Femme

Chapter Thirty-Six: Supergirl

A cold breeze blew past us as the night went on. The rest of the team had decided to camp here for the night. Diana said that we needed as much energy as possible and we had already lost a good chunk of it from fighting against Roulette and her security guards.

I gathered some dried-out shrubbery not far from where we were. I used my heat-vision on the pile. In an instant, it combusted into a small, red and orange flame. I sat down in front of it, pulling my legs into my chest. My arms wrapped around my shins. The heat emitted from the flames and against my skin, warming me. I took in a deep breath. I closed my eyes for a moment. In just that moment, all I could sense was the heat of the fire. Not a single thought entered my mind. All I could feel was the heat against my skin, like a warm hug. Even if the flames were too intense in some moments, there was a breeze to balance it out. For a moment, it felt like it was the only thing in existence; just me and the fire. I would hear the wind breeze by and the crackling of the fire, but the only living thing I focused on hearing was my breath for the moment. It was like nothing had happened before then and nothing would happen after. I let out a relaxed sigh.

After a moment, I made the mistake of opening my eyes again. Everything flooded back into my mind. I could see it replay all over in my mind: the beating Killer Frost and Caitlin had taken to Jessica from the aggressor's effects, the arrow piercing Jesse's stomach, the blur of fighting off the burly security guards Roulette had hired at her probably illegal casino, the adrenaline rush of grabbing Nia and Kate and flying them out of there, my blood running cold when Babs told us that Jesse died, the fury in Helena's eyes when she yelled at Diana and the rage seething from her voice, the pure shock and horror in Harley's usually wide and bright eyes. A weight fell back onto me and it felt like I was slowly being crushed. We were two people weaker now. There was a sharp pang in my chest. How could we defeat Brainiac with only fifteen people if the whole planet of Krypton couldn't even stop him? I felt tears start to well up in my eyes, but I blinked as much as I could. In this moment, it was the only thing to keep them at bay.

"Mind if I join you?"

The sound of the voice made me jump slightly. I looked up to see Mon-El looking down at me. The embers of the fire almost seemed to make his usually deep-blue eyes glow.

I shook my head.

He sat down next to me, his legs pulled into his chest like mine, but his arms were at his sides. He looked over at me. His eyes had an air of concern, almost glossy. The stubble on his face was starting to grow out a bit more, a light beard almost. There was a small frown in the center of it all.

A pit formed in my stomach. I looked back at the fire. For whatever reason, it felt that the heat emitting from the fire was more tolerable than him looking at me like that.

"Today was rough, wasn't it?" he asked. Even his voice sounded heavy.

I nodded my head. My body shook slightly, almost like a twitch. Suddenly, I felt his hand on my shoulder. It was warm to the touch.

"You okay?"

My eyes welled up with tears again. I blinked and one escaped. I felt his hand extend out, his arm around my shoulders. "I'm trying hard," I said, "so hard, just to keep my family, my friends safe.  I don't want to let them down."

"And I see that," he replied. Mon-El pulled me into him a tiny bit, one of my shoulders under his arm, with his hand on the other.

I looked at him, despite the tears in my eyes messing with my vision. "But I feel like...like my work isn't showing." I let out a shaky sigh. "And...and it feels like no matter what I do, I...I feel like it's either too much or too little. I mean, that's what Kal said."