It's not just you - Phan (completed)

Furrow

I have always been fascinated by how unbelievably happy Louise manages to stay, constantly. No matter what the circumstance, she never fails to make the most out of the situation at hand. For all we know, her world could be crumbling down around her, yet she's here, making sure that your day is going to be the best day ever, just because that is how she was raised. Louise's happiness is contagious, her aura radiating positive energy constantly, never once failing to keep the mood light and cheery. This is what I need right now. With everything that has happened this past year, with Phil and Becca, I need someone who has the power to lift my head and keep me from spiralling down the rabbit hole of unforgettable darkness. And Louise is that person.

As I am watching her laugh and chat away about something hilarious Zoe did the other night, I can't help but notice out the corner of my eye, Tyler getting uncomfortably close to Phil. I shouldn't be worried, as Tyler and Troye have been together for a while now, however the fondness Tyler emits causes me to be a little apprehensive toward the situation.

Unable to take it much more, I turn my head to look in on the situation, double glancing when I see the expression Phil's face holds. He looks distraught, broken, anything and everything other than his usual, chirpy self. He looks so much like he did when I was with Becca, that same broken act he used to hold so perfectly that I wouldn't know any different adorning his features. However now I know what that looks like, I am finally able to see past his act to see how he is really feeling.

Quietly, I mouth a small "are you okay" to him, which he replies with a short nod and strained smile. Fake, of course. However much I care for him, I don't want to risk losing this current state of undeviating peace, so I turn my head back to Louise, immediately cheering up as I see the ridiculously cheesy smile she occupies. However, this content doesn't last long as I'm soon distracted by the two men now wandering toward the bathroom, hand in hand. My head instantly shoots towards the figures, my breath catching and heart racing as I watch Phil being dragged by Tyler. I shouldn't be allowing myself to be upset and concerned by the current scenario, Phil isn't mine, he will never be, however I am unable to stop myself becoming increasingly distressed and jealous. If either of them need the bathroom, they can go themselves. They don't need the other to guide them through it. So why is Tyler dragging Phil to the bathroom?

"I'll be right back Louise." I muttered, almost jumping off the stall I was sat on, jogging in the direction of the bathroom. I swung the door open, the force strong enough it could've pulled the door off its hinges. "What the actual fuck is going on?" I spoke sharply, freezing when I saw Phil in Tyler's arms, sobbing quietly. I took a hesitant step forward, my arm stretched out toward Phil, head tilted to the side. "Phil?"

"Now isn't the time-"

"What's wrong with him?" I yelled, staring at Tyler, eyes now watering as I wished he was in my arms and not his.

"Phil? Do you want to talk to Dan about what is happening?" Tyler said softly, his left hand rubbing small circles between Phil's shoulder blades. He shook his head, cuddling into Tyler more as he did so. Tyler sighed, lifting Phil's head with his fingertips. "He has the right to know what is going on."

"Damn right I fucking do." I raised my voice, brow raising.

"Dan please stop yelling." Phil spoke clearly considering the circumstance and his condition, his head turning towards me slowly. His eyes were puffy and red, they were empty however held a slight glimmer of something in them.

"Please just tell me what is going on." I pleaded, whimpering slightly, stepping back once to regain control over myself. Phil stepped away from Tyler, sighing as he straightened his shirt and fixed his fringe, sucking in a long take of air. Then, he whispered, so small it was almost impossible to hear.

"I love you."

<><><><>
You made me do it, I did nothing.

Update on my life if any of you care.
I'm feeling a little better, your comments on the last post made me smile so much and motivate me to write something, so I hope this is good enough. I spoke to my best friend about it all and she went out her way to meet me on Monday which was so nice of her. I'm seeing her tomorrow again as we are going to see Les Miserables and hopefully meet Carrie c:
Things are looking good right now, I can see horizons, but I'm not pushing my luck just yet.

Te amo,
Mitzu
Xx