It's not just you - Phan (completed)

Unexpected

I went straight to the bathroom, locking it as I began to pace up and down the cold tiles, running hands through my hair as my breathing laboured. Dan would freak out now, he'd know something was wrong.

This wasn't a fan fiction, this was real life. Dan wouldn't be able to get rid of my hatred for my body just like that; for him to say he loves me and suddenly everything to be okay. It would take a massive brainwave from my behalf, shedding tears from both of us. He'd soon know about everything.

"Phil..." Dan sighed, hearing his head thud against the wooden door. "Phil please. We need to talk." He mumbled calmingly, as tears sprung to my eyes.

I didn't say anything back to him, continuing to pace and let whimpering breaths escape my mouth every now and then. He couldn't see me, but I knew he knew I was on the verge of crying, as he didn't dare say anything else for ten minutes.

"Let me in, please?" he asked quietly, the worry in his voice so evident I had to unlock the door. The wood swung open and he immediately enveloped me in a hug, my head burying in his shoulder.

"I'm sorr-"

"No, I am. I shouldn't have made you eat. It's up to you when you do or don't." Dan interrupted, hugging me tightly against his chest. "I just want you to be healthy. You don't eat enough and when you're hungry you just ignore yourself." Dan cupped my cheeks, staring me straight in the eye.

"Dan please, not now..." I whispered, chewing on my lip as all I wanted to do was smash mine against his.

It wasn't me who had to do it.

Within seconds his lips were pressed firmly onto mine, kissing me hungrily as I stood there, shocked. By the time I kissed back Dan's tongue was in my mouth, running it along mine in a heated battle. For some off and unknown reason, tears were streaming down my face, Dan's hands clasping the back of my neck as mine stayed in fists beside me. It wasn't the fireworks I had been hoping for. My mind was filled reasons why I wasn't happy; it wasn't how I wanted my first kiss with Dan to be.

I wanted our first kiss slow and romantic. Filled with nothing but love for each other as we let our hands roam each others necks and chests and hair. This, this was completely different.

This was hot and hungry and everything that would happen on a one night stand. Dan's hands we sticky as he gripped randomly onto my clothing and skin, sometimes pinching me. His lips were constantly pressed to mine and I had to breathe heavily through my nose to get oxygen to my lungs. But I didn't pull away.

I couldn't deny having my lips pressed against Dan's, scared it would be the first and last time it'd happen. He'd only recently broken up with Becca, so surely he couldn't be over her that fast. However the kiss was over quicker than I had expected, much like their relationship, as Dan could probably sense how tense and awkward I was, his lips pulling reluctantly away from mine. Immediately, I looked down, keeping my eyes closed as my chest rose and fell heavily; partly from the kiss, partly from my crying. Neither of us said anything, Dan just taking my hand in his and leading me to his bedroom. I opened my eyes, lifting my head slightly so I could see where I was treading.

Although the only thing my eyes focused on was the small tent in Dan's jeans.

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Ahhh. this was unexpected huh?

I'll see you soon ;)

Te amo,

Mitzu

Xx