It's not just you - Phan (completed)

Believe me, I love you pt. 1

Holy shit it's Dan's point of view for you

I watched as Phil shuffled back to his cave, it being unknown as to when he'd emerge later on. Becca's voiced screeched loudly down the line but all I could think about is how much I miss Phil.

I miss our endless conversations that were so heart felt it hurt my whole body to the point I wanted to crawl up and die. I miss his accidental head rests on my lap when he'd fall asleep during one of our movie marathons. I miss the awkward walk ins when he'd find me in the shower stark naked. But most of all, I miss us.

"I'm breaking up with you." I whispered down the line, and immediately Becca started yelling and screaming in my ear. I understood now. After all this time it was me who had broken my best friend to the point of commuting suicide. It was having her in my life that had blinded me so I was unable to see the damage I was causing Phil.

I now remember all the enclosed memories that I kept at the back of my mind when I'd bring Becca into a house filled with only quiet sobs from his room and we'd make sure to drown them out whilst having hot sex. All the times I'd missed with him because I'd be sitting in my room with her, making out to the point my jaw ached. "I'm sorry." I added quietly, hanging up before I hurt myself more with her continuous crying in my ear.

My heart thudded rapidly, ears ringing as I stuffed my phone into my pocket and almost ran to the sink, splashing my red face with cold water, clasping the basin firmly. What had I just done?

Around an hour later Phil hadn't emerged from hibernation, and so I was determined to at least give him a little company. I had calmed down, shuffling quietly over to Phil's door and opening it slowly. The room was warm, pitch black and the light from the hall only made it to the side of Phil's bed. I stepped in and quickly shut the door, being able to hear soft snores from the bed, my heart warming. Tiptoeing over to the empty side of the bed, I climbed in quietly and under the duvet. From there I snaked my arms around Phil's back to rest on his stomach, cuddling close to him, almost in a spooning position.

"What are you doing?" Phil's groggy voice came from in front of me, causing a smile to tug at my lips as I rested my forehead between his shoulders. Phil didn't complain with my arms round him, instead cuddling back into me, shuffling backwards to my chest pressed against his back.

"I wanted a cuddle." I murmured, taking a deep breath in as my eyes fluttered close. The elder sighed slightly, relaxing into the bed.

"Why don't you just get Becca round? I'm sure that's what you'd usually do." He muttered, my heart skipping that beat as guilt shot through me. God I'd really damaged him. Even the slightest thing bothered him about her and me doing things.

"I broke it off. My attention is dedicated to you young Philip."

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Here you are, I know it short but it's all my brain can fathom right now. plus I feel car sick as I'm on the way to Manchester and I don't do well with cars.

Te amo,

Mitzu

Xx