My Idol, My Muse | Jendragon

twelve

12

~Ji yong~

--- G-Dragon, you will air in five minutes --- The Inkigayo staff let me know. I look at my side Jennie looks very nervous, it is her first live performance --- Hey! Look at me, calm down, everything is going to be great --- She is very beautiful tonight, she wears a modest and simple dress but in her it makes her sweetness and innocence stand out more ---Oppa ... and if it doesn't come out right? How do I know which camera to look at? I don't feel safe --- she tells me worried, I approach her and whisper to her --- You don't have to worry about anything, you're great, you're here because I know you can do it, you're also with me, and so of the camera is easy, you just need to look at the one with the red light on --- She nods, looks a little less tense, they call us and we go to the set.

Everything went well, I knew she would be able, so far she has never let me down to trust her potential. We drove with Mr. Kim to the headquarters, the members told me that they had prepared something in commemoration of my first victory in these promotions. --- Jennie you come with me to celebrate, you deserve it too, you just made your first appearance on television --- She answers --- Thank you very much oppa, I would love to but I want to go to my house tonight ---I look her and say --- No problem, we're here for an hour and then I'll drop you home --- She nods with a smile.

We get to the studio, the members and some other people are there, they have brought beer, I immediately take one and drink it to the bottom, I give Jennie a juice. It is a very pleasant night, I really enjoy being here with my friends and with her. We sing, laugh and party. ---Oppa ... I didn't want to interrupt you but the time has passed, I need to go ...--- Jennie tells me in a low voice, I am ashamed because I had already forgotten that I had to take her home--- Yes, of course, we are going now, excuse me.- - I say goodbye to everyone.

We head to the parking lot and get in the car, Mr. Kim still hasn't arrived. I am about to call him, I grab my cell phone to dial but it falls, right now everything is spinning around me, I think I drank too much. She bends down to pick it up at the same time and our hands touch. I stay motionless for a moment but then I grab her hand, she tries to get away but I don't let her. I look into her eyes with her hand still held in mine, and such a great and uncontrollable desire invades me and without realizing howor I was already kissing her. She responds to my kiss, she caresses my hair, I put my other hand on her waist and I kiss her with more force, a very great passion mixed with alcohol takes over me, I cannot stop myself, I kiss her stronger and stronger, I feel her heart beating very fast, she lets out gasps as I possess his mouth.

I have no brakes, I lower my hand to her thigh and slide it under her dress, I feel that she prevents me from continuing but I do not care, I am possessed, she is here and corresponds to me, I know, I force myself and I free myself from her hand, I keep going as far as I wanted to go. Suddenly something brings me back to reality, she pulls me away from her with all her strength and I feel her voice screaming --- Oppa !! Enough!!---

I open my eyes, I turn away from her, her expression contains fear, I can see it. I wonder what I have done, how I got to this, I deeply regret and feel such a great shame that I can only tell her --- I ... I'm really sorry, I didn't know what I was doing, I shouldn't have ... I'm sorry ... stay here, I'll go call Mr. Kim, he'll take you home, I'll take a taxi --- I get out of the car without looking back, I just made a big mistake and I don't know if she'll ever forgive me.

~Jennie kim~

He comes over and kisses me, he smells like alcohol but I don't care, I reciprocate, I had been waiting for this moment for a long time. He kisses me even harder, I feel in heaven, his lips are better than I imagined and dreamed of. He takes my breath out with his mouth, oppa seriously he feels this passion for me, I never realized that he wanted me so much. Suddenly I feel his hand on my thigh, he begins to advance just like in my dreams, but something is not right, I cannot, I do not want this to go so far, I stop him, he continues to kiss me, he lets go of my hand and advances until that reaches my intimate zone, I don't know how to stop it, I don't want it to continue, he's obviously drunk, he touches me more and I only manage to knock it away and yell at it to stop.

When he leaves me I see the surprise in his eyes, he looks at me and notices my panic, I feel that he collapses in front of me, regret invades his face. He doesn't know what to say to me, I just stand there looking at him until he finally speaks and runs away from the car without looking back, leaving me alone.
At the time I did not know but I would not see him again until the following year.