My Idol, My Muse | Jendragon

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~Jennie~

Oppa hasn't said a word since we set out to his apartment after what happened whit the paparazzi. He remains focused on the road, his expression shows some concern, I am not sure what is really worrying him and what he is thinking now, my reaction was not the most appropriate when he told me that there are possibilities of being exposed, I think he got the wrong idea ... no ... that's what I showed him, my excessive fear of public judgment about our relationship, that must have made him feel bad but I don't know how to approach it and explain that it is not like that ..., the opinion of the people about my partner's age or his past just don't matter to me, those aren't the reasons that make me want to keep it private, but something tells me that's what Ji Yong is feeling right now.

Minutes ago
---That's what we have to talk about… I don't think it will end here, we must be prepared Jen, our secret… I don't think it will last much longer--- were oppa's words, enough to unleash the panic in my head.
---How?? That can't happen !!---
---But Jen listen to me ... everything will be fine ... we will find a way to handle things--- he told me with his calm voice, while I spoke upset
---No!! There is no way! Don't you understand that I don't want anyone to know anything?---
---Jennie ... we've been dating for a year ... someday we'll have to go public---
---Ji Yong-oppa no ... I don't want to---
---Well, if that's what you want--- was the last thing he said before starting the car's engine and concentrating on the road without even looking at me.
________
We arrived at the private parking lot of his apartment, after closing the door we both got out of the car and took the elevator. Neither says anything, he presses the button and we go up. Upon entering he goes to the garden, sits down and as usual when he is upset or thoughtful he begins to smoke, I really hate him doing that, in all this time I have not managed to get him to get rid of his cigarettes, he always returns to them in certain moments.

I walk over to him and sit next to him. ---Oppa ...---
---mmm---
---Are you upset?---
---No--- he answers me curtly without looking at me
---Do not lie to me---
---I'm not upset Jen… just… --- lets out a long sigh ---Somewhat disappointed---
Well that took me by surprise ---Disappointed?---
---Yes ... and something hurt with you. I know that I am not the best prototype of a man to exhibit as a partner, it is true that many people love me but in the same way many hate me, I never cared much about that until now .---
---Why do you say that?---
---It is that sometimes I think that you are afraid to make our relationship public because you are afraid that I will damage your image. You insist so much on the secret without giving me explanations that you make me think that ---
---Oppa no !! It's nothing like that ... --- he interrupts me and continues talking
---A while ago despite all the unpleasantness of the moment I thought "Ahh… at least it would not be wrong to assume it all at once if something comes to light" but after you denied everything I returned to reality. Jen, I told you from the beginning that I would fulfill your desire to keep things hidden, but now I need you to give me reasons for that, I'm no longer old enough to hide, I want security, I want to know that this has a future, I want a life as normal as possible, I need to know that at some point you ... will be able to stand by my side as my partner and ignore everything else ---

Ji Yong-oppa's words, calm but precise, make me see that he is right, I have not shown him anything, while he has been by my side throughout this last year and has supported me without fail in my projects, I have only paid with my company, I didn't need more because he gave me everything without asking for anything in return.

---Oppa I want everything with you ... I've always wanted it, sorry for never telling you clearly, not just having you by my side is enough for me. Yes, I want a future by your side, how can you doubt that? You asked me for my reasons ... I have never considered you as a threat to my image, from a very young age you were my role model and you are still oppa, you were my mentor, my friend, my first love, you are my point of reference to improve myself in my career, but still not enough, I want to reach your height by my efforts, I don't want the covers to refer to me as ´´G-Dragon's girlfriend´´ leaving aside my name. If you thought that I considered you little, you are wrong, you are too good for me, I only want my name to be at the same level as yours, yes, it is something ambitious, but I want to achieve it, from you I learned to want to reach higher. Stay by my side oppa--- I place a hand on his cheek ---I love you---

~Ji yong~

---What do you have to say about the article Mr. Kwon?--- asks the CEO
---You know it is real, in fact many in the company know it --
--- Do you intend to make it public? ---
---No I don't---
--- Well, then we will respect your private life, we will not deny it but we will not confirm anything either. Have a good day, see you later-- The call ends briefly, in contrast to the chaos on the internet after Dispatch released an article exposing my relationship with Jen. I was not wrong that day when I suspected that something was on the way, that paparazzi did not see us by chance, he must have been stalking us for a long time, luckily that day I destroyed what could have been the most real evidence, because honestly seeing this that they have taken … There is nothing relevant, which allows us to remain silent as we are going to do.

I can't stop thinking about how Jen has been stalked for almost a year, followed everywhere she goes, just imagining it makes my blood boil, how dare they? ...
---Ji Yong-ssi--- Jen's mother's voice takes me out of my thoughts ---Didn't you like the juice?---
---Oh .., yes Mrs. Kim, it's very good---
---You had a face ... by the way, when are you going to call me mother? I know Jennie calls your mom that, don't you think it's time? ---
While Mrs. Kim talks to me Jennie who is sitting next to her does nothing but laugh, she knows that her mother makes me nervous, Jennie looks a lot like her in terms of character and physical also, they both have that cold look, although Obviously Jennie doesn't affect me but I can't say the same about her mother ---Yes… Mrs. Kim… I mean, mother---

~Jennie~

It has been a difficult week after that article came out I had to stay at home until things calmed down. Finally after a while I'm back at oppa's apartment. It's late at night, Ji Yong still hasn't come home, I feel a bit tired so I decide to go to the room and wait for him while I rest. After getting into bed I turn to place my phone on the bedside table, when I do I see something on top of it, it is the oppa notebook, worn by the years, the pages look yellow. I remember having seen him use it on occasions and hide it when he sees me, curiosity wins me over ... in a few seconds I have it in my hands. Quickly review written with his lyrics, the words remind me several of his songs, above each one, "Jennie and me" accompanied by different dates. It was this ... that's why he hid them so much, the dates and the descriptions coincide with several of our encounters, so he ... all this time ... he took me to his music, as if I were ... his muse ...

As I read the pages I feel that Oppa arrives, I close the notebook and place it where it was, turn off the light and pretend to be asleep. I feel him enter the room, he sits next to me, his hand strokes my hair, then leans towards me and kisses my cheek. When I feel him trying to get up I open my eyes and grab his hand, he turns around surprised ---I love you--- I tell him
---I know--- he answers me with a smile
---I love you too Jen, you are everything to me
---I know--- I answer ... yes, we both know, that's enough...

THE END

With this Chapter comes to the end this story that I have enjoyed so much, I hope that you also find the same sense. This is definitely my favorite couple in kpop, confirmed or not, real or fake, for me the Jendragon will always be special. I will be posting some specials on this story later so please look forward to them with love. Thank you all again for reading and voting… AmndLL