My Idol, My Muse | Jendragon

•15•

16

2016

--- Unnie !! Look we are at No.1 !!
Whistle made it, we made it !! --- I open my eyes and see Lisa on top of my bed screaming like a crazy, I laugh and start screaming with her. We finally made it, we are reaching the dream we fought for and tried so hard for, the days of eating scrambled eggs with jam and meatballs have finally come to an end. --- Lisa-ya go ahead and wake up Jisoo and give her the news --- I tell Lili --- I already went but Jisoo-unnie doesn't react, she just wants to continue sleeping.

I get up, go to the bathroom and stare at my reflection in the mirror, it makes me think of the audition day, I was so nervous, I was a girl ... Today what I see is different, at 20 years old I feel that I have changed a lot, there is only one thing that has not changed ... the person who saw my dreams is still the same. Over time these crazy fantasies have become more intense, I can't help but blush when I remember some of them.
At that moment I did not understand, I told him that I was already an adult and that I knew what I wanted, that I wanted him. Today I know that Ji Yong made the best decision to walk away, if he had not withdrawn and accepted my feelings, everything could have gone wrong, I could have failed to achieve my dream, a minimum of scandal and I would have been expelled as same as Miyeon. Even now I'm not allowed to have relationships, at least not in public.
That's why I've been thinking for a while… nothing happens if nobody finds out, right? Looking back, only Jisoo knows about my story with Ji Yong but she doesn't know it in full, and since I know him I know he hasn't told anyone, maybe Taeyang but he's his friend, he would never say anything. So I see no reason why I shouldn't go through with this.

Today August 19, 2016, BLACKPINK will be supporting the sumbaes in their concert for the tenth anniversary, this is my chance, I am determined, this time Ji Yong will have no excuses, I will make sure of that, I do not know how things will happen today, but I'll do my best to pick up the story where we left it 2 years ago in his car.

~Ji yong~

I look at my watch, there are 15 minutes left to go out, nerves are running high here, I can't stop turning my rings. Suddenly I feel a familiar voice, it's Jennie ... I turn around and see her enter the dressing room with the other girls. They begin to greet the members, her smile ... I stare at her. Finally she gets where I am and looks at me, well ... I'm out of breath, the girl is gone and this young woman is left who looks at me with those slanted eyes, smiles at me and says --- Good luck Ji Yong-oppa-- - I notice something different in her eyes, something that makes me nervous, this girl is up to something and I will gladly go where she says. I smile back and say --- It's been a while huh, so good to see you again ---