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"I'm not ready to let you go..."
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Lan Zhan was yet to leave his bed, still, profusely refusing to face reality he kept himself and his denial tucked away in the Jingshi, surviving on his dreams.
That's all he had left. Dreams.
He would dream for a future with Wei Ying that had slipped out of his grasp, he closed his eyes and wept for a day... just one day more with Wei Ying.
He cried knowing he would never hold Wei Ying in his arms, he would never bathe in the privilege that was his love and presence, he'd never kiss those plush lips or see that radiant smile again.
Lan Zhan gathered his pillow in balled fists, he took a stuttering deep breath before screaming, screaming as if he was being killed into the cotton filling.
He screamed and screamed until all he could do was sob silently, Wei Ying is dead Wei Ying is dead Wei Ying is not coming back-
Lan Zhan's heart ripped open and he screamed, spewing blood in agony he raised his fist and swung it down toward the back of his head.
The impact made his body jolt and a second later, everything went dark.
***
When he opened his eyes again, he found himself surrounded by rubble and ruins and he wasn't alone in this dream.
Around him, Jiang Yanli, Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang, and Nie Mingjue stood, awfully confused.
Jiang Cheng frowned, "...Okay, this is by far the strangest dream I've had, why am I dreaming about Lan Wangji?" He scoffed, crossing his arms.
Yanli sighed tiredly, "A-Cheng." She admonished, making him look away.
Nie Huaisang frowned, looking around, "Have you by any chance... been dreaming about Wei-Xiong?" He asked the group.
Instantly, everyone froze before nodding.
Nie Huaisang gulped, "I don't think this is any normal dream..." He murmured, "When everyone awakes, we have to meet up and discuss why we're suddenly in a dream together."
Lan Zhan nodded, returning to investigating the area.
This wasn't right, this was not what their previous dreams looked like. The butterflies had been replaced by smoke, the sky had bled from blue to red, and the ground was ash, nothing was right.
And then, they spotted him.
His beautiful soft skin had been bruised and beaten, his plush strawberry lips had turned crimson and split, his eyes no longer shone with freedom and happiness, but wept with agony and were bloodshot.
They gasped in shock, they'd never seen Wei Ying in such a terrible condition.
Even when he was dying, he died with a smile.
But now, he looked utterly broken, "Wei Ying..." Lan Zhan gasped out, his heart beginning to race.
The group rushed forward, surrounding Wei Ying as he sobbed softly, looking around he tilted his head to the sky, "I was supposed to help my Shije get married... I... I was supposed to help Jiang Cheng... I wasn't supposed to die- I already died, I... I fought to live why... why am I dead?" He murmured, sniffing.
Even Nie Mingjue teared up.
Jiang Cheng's lips trembled, "Shixiong..." He whimpered, edging forward and taking his hands, "Shixiong... it's oka-"
Wei Ying shook his head, looking off into the distance with eyes so full of tears, reflecting such angry flames you couldn't see the dark ebony behind, "I don't want to be dead..." He breathed out, swaying on his feet, "I... I don't want to be dead..."
Lan Zhan sobbed without shame, rushing forward and crashing into Wei Ying's back, "Wei Ying..." He sniffed, shoulders trembling as he cried.
Wei Ying's heart shattered, "Lan Zhan..." He whispered, his voice now sounding like a distant echo.
They were losing him, "Lan Zhan..." He turned, snuggling into the Lan's tight hug, "I'll miss you so much, Lan Zhan..." He sighed, "I... you are my biggest regret..."
Lan Zhan stiffened, pulling away with hurt on his face.
Wei Ying shook his head, "Well... not you... my choices toward you." He gulped, caressing Lan Zhan's cheek he cupped it gently, "I will always regret... not doing this sooner."
And then he leaned in, pressing their lips together.
What should have been a happy moment for all, was the most painful thing they would ever experience.
Watching two lovers say goodbye... two soulmates who never got the chance to be together... watching them lose each other before they even had each other...
It hurt so bad.
Nie Mingjue had to look away to hide the fat tears currently cascading down his cheeks, from his jaw into his robes as the others wailed openly.
Lan Zhan sobbed into Wei Ying's mouth, kissing him harder, holding him tighter as if he could keep him in his arms forever.
But he could not.
With the kiss, the fire began to die down, and slowly, slowly, the world began to bloom once more.
Wei Ying pulled away, turning to his Shije he kissed her forehead, hugging her tightly, "I love you so much Shije..." He sobbed, turning to Jiang Cheng he squeezed him tightly.
"A-Cheng... you've made me so proud..." He whispered, his voice breaking.
Jiang Cheng cried his throat sore into his Shixiong's shoulder, only letting him go when Yanli and Wei Ying pried him off.
Turning to Nie Mingjue, they nodded to each other, "It is done, Wei-Gongzi..."
Wei Ying sniffed, smiling in thanks he turned to Nie Huaisang who pounced on him, "Wei-Xiong Wei-Ge don't go..." He wailed, holding his clothes in tight grips.
Wei Ying's lips trembled, "Didi..." He hiccuped, "Didi..." He sighed, the world in full bloom again if not a little cloudy, "I'll miss you too..."
Nie Huiasang let him go with a broken heart, he sobbed into Nie Mingjue's arms.
Wei Ying took a breath, stepping back, he turned to the sky once more... and grinned, "Mmm..." He hummed, sighing.
He turned to Lan Zhan a final time and gulped at his tears, "Lan Zhan..." He whispered, edging forward and cupping his face gently, he pecked his lips with a promise, "We'll meet again someday..." He whispered, stepping back.
His voice faded into the air, passing like the wind as his figure vanished gradually, parting from them with a final smile.
Lan Zhan's lips wobbled, tears running down the tracks the previous ones left behind as his hands remained outstretched, reaching for something- for somebody that wasn't there anymore.
The Lan sniffed, clenching his hands into fists, maybe what Wei Ying said was true. On another day, in another time, in another space, they'd meet again.
Perhaps there was a future for them yet.
You thought fics, where Wei Wuxian wanted to DIE, were sad? LOL how about fics where he wants to live but can't 🤪
