Sakusa gulped, laying in bed with his eyes turned to the ceiling. His shared bedroom was nearly pitch black and it was quiet.
Next to him was a sleeping Atsumu, his back turned to Sakusa as he rested. He was calm. His shoulders went up and down with his slow breathing, signifying that he was okay.
The room was tense with the argument from earlier, something about pointing out an insecurity that both of them had within the relationship.
About Sakusa's lack of touch and Atsumu's need for physical affection.
Sakusa wanted to give him all the affection in the world but every time he tried, his body shut down and he panicked. It was terrifying.
He'd done it before though and he knew how good it felt to be held and to hold others.
Sakusa got closer to Atsumu, pressing his palm to his back. "I love you…"
Atsumu still slept, calmed.
Sakusa pulled his hand back and curled up on his own, on his side of the bed. "I'm sorry."
****
The next morning when Sakusa woke up, he smelled coffee and the effect of a hot shower. He stayed still, taking notice of the sing-song voice of his boyfriend in their tiny apartment kitchen.
His head hurt. "Mm… Shit." Sakusa rubbed his eyes. He whined and sat up, holding his head.
Soft steps echoed in the hall and Atsumu walked in and he smiled. "Good morning Omi."
Sakusa waved. He yawned and moved his hands down, staring at the wall before looking over.
"Ack you don't look happy." Atsumu held up a black mug with a few little snowflakes on it. "I made it strong. Think it'll help?"
"Mhmm."
Atsumu walked over and gave it to him before leaving and coming back with his little frog-themed mug. He sat on the bed, keeping his distance.
Sakusa drank his coffee, silent.
"Omi?"
"Mm?"
"Did you cry after I fell asleep?"
"No, and don't think I would ever cry because you're mad at me. I'm not stupid."
"I cry when we fight sometimes," Atsumu whispered. He took a sip of his coffee. "It's cause I love you and I hate seeing you angry at me."
Sakusa kept quiet. His head was pounding at this point. He set his mug on the nightstand and tried his pressure points.
"You want me to leave?"
Sakusa shrugged.
Atsumu left the room.
Sakusa laid down, trying to relax as his headache got worse and worse. He knew what this was. He just needed to relax or get it to stop without grabbing attention.
In the kitchen, Atsumu was cleaning up a bit and thinking.
Sakusa was a quiet person by nature. He was shy. Insecure. Picky.
But Atsumu knew that the other boy loved him. He just… Had a difficult time with it.
"Omi-kun~" Atsumu picked up his bag. "Babe did you get dressed and ready?!"
No response.
Atsumu sighed and went back to their room. "Omi!" Atsumu flipped on the light. Sakusa was curled up in the middle of the bed, shaking. "Uh oh."
Atsumu walked over to the bed and got under the blankets. Sakusa didn't try to get him to stop touching him but got closer, whimpering. "Atsu…"
"I've got you. Does your head hurt Omi?"
"I have…" He sighed shakily. "A migraine."
"Oh no…" Atsumu got closer and held him, rubbing his scalp. "Do you need something? Medicine?"
"Please… Please just hold me. You're warm."
Atsumu kissed his hair. "You're gonna be okay. The pain always passes, doesn't it Omi?" He laid more on top of him, knowing the weight would help him fall asleep so that the other boy's pain would go away faster.
Sakusa snuggled closer and eventually fell asleep. Atsumu turned on his side and rubbed Sakusa's hair, praying he would be okay.
****
Hours later when Sakusa woke up, he felt warm, and his tongue felt like cotton. "Mph."
Atsumu stayed still as he watched Sakusa wake up, curious. Sakusa's eyes met his and the ravenette jolted. "Hey, hey, it's alright. It's just me. It's okay." Atsumu held his face and Sakusa calmed quickly. "There we go. Are you alright?"
"It doesn't hurt anymore."
"That's great Omi." Atsumu kissed the two beauty marks above his brow. "You probably need a shower and a nice cup of soup."
"Oh God, please."
Atsumu got up, getting a quick cup of soup, and snuggled with Sakusa. The raven-haired boy stared at him over the rim of his cup and smiled. Atsumu laughed. "What is it?"
"It doesn't feel too bad for you to hold me."
"Aw."
Sakusa rolled his eyes. He continued with the soup, huddled close. It did feel nice. Really nice. He knew it wouldn't last too long but he would enjoy this affection.
****
The next week, Atsumu hid in the locker room with full sleeves and a pair of gloves on, giggling. Sakusa was changing with the team around him, silent.
Atsumu crept up behind him, biting his lip. He grabbed Sakusa's sides and the ravenette screamed. He turned, hitting Atsumu in his back and pinning him down.
"Woah! Take me to dinner first!"
Sakusa stared. "Don't scare me like that, you idiot."
Atsumu got out from under him and rolled away. "Hinata!"
The ginger shrieked, getting on a bench. "Stop it!"
Sakusa got off the floor and washed his hands. "Jesus..." He laughed softly. Atsumu came over to him, wrapping his arms around the other male's waist. He sighed softly.
"Omi."
"Hm?"
"I love you."
Sakusa laughed. "I love you too. Dork."
Atsumu bit hit cheek and rushed away, leaving him to wash his hands. Sakusa glanced in the mirror, sighing. Some day he wouldn't get that itchy feeling and racing heart when he was touched.
