The Struggle with the Acceptance of Love

Chapter 24

THIRD POV:

Rose spoke gently, "Rey, would you like to go berry picking with a patrol today?"

Rey gazed at her, trying to focus.

A month had passed since she left Padme with Ben. The Resistance camp had been fortified with more tougher walls. Two fighters sat guard through each freezing night to make sure no being or animal would ever steal into camp again. 

The Resistance had believed Rey's story- that she'd woken to find her baby gone. Every person believed that Padme had been stolen by a rabid animal that clawed a hole in the back of the camp and then Rey's window, driven by starvation to venture into camp for the first time.

They searched the forest for days, not knowing where to look, Rey's foot trail killed by the freezing snow, covered with a soft blanket. Rey had scoured the woods with her friends, numb with guilt, reminding herself over and over again that she'd done it to protect Padme from harm.

Meanwhile, sorrow and regret gripped the Resistance. They spoke in low voices and huddled in knots, eyeing Rey with pity that stabbed her like thorns. She was sicking of telling lies. She hardly noticed how skinny she was getting from not eating and how also sick looking from not sleeping and drinking enough water. She was too miserable to eat, wishing to hide in sleep. She felt as though the shard of ice piercing her heart would never melt.

'She'll be safe with Ben.' She said to herself.. the thought wasn't enough to ease her grief.

"Rey," Rose rested her hand on her friend's shoulder, "Do you feel like berry hunting today?"

"I'll hunt with you, if you like," Kat hurried to join her. Sadness shadowed her gaze. She was still grieving over the loss of her younger brother, as well as grieving over Padme. She had worked harder than any person ever to reinforce the walls surrounding the camp, and her skin was covered with scratches from the brambles that surrounded the Resistance base. Rey wished she could tell her that Padme was safe, cherished and loved someplace else.

Instead, Rey shrugged off Rose's hand as she got up from the bench she was sitting at, "I'd rather hunt alone."

Rose nodded, "As you wish."

Kat turned away, her eyes clouding.

"Rey!" Connix caught up to her, pressing herself close to her as she jogged to the tunnel, "Are you going to be alright?"

'No! Nothing will ever be alright again.' Rey longed to curl up in her friends arms and got to sleep for a month. "I'll be fine," she replied instead, feeling hollow.

She scrambled up the side of the ravine and headed into the forest. As she spotted a bush, she sat down and started picking, slowly and gently, as she put them in her pouch.

"Nice berries."

Leia's rasping call made Rey whip around, making some berries fall from her hand.

She put them in her pouch, "What are you doing here?"

"I still have legs, you know," Leia snapped, trying to brighten the mood. But it didn't even work a little bit.

It was jarring to hear a person speak to Rey in a voice that wasn't honeyed with sympathy. She straightened and met Leia's gaze, "What do you want? Do you have another stupid son that I could love, then get me pregnant, and make me abandon my child?" Bitter in Rey's tone.

"You did the right thing.." Leia said calmly, understanding Rey's situation, not judging her attitude the slightest.

Her words made Rey bristle, "For who?"

"For your daughter.. " Leia narrowed her eyes, then softened, "I guess your destiny is made for you to not to have attachments.."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Rey bit back at her. She hated knowing about people she loved but then lost and she hated Leia for telling her about it.

Leia blinked, "It's not your destiny to feel better I suppose.. I guess you were made to suffer."

"I know.." she growled, her voice hard as a flint, "But I will always regret what I've done."

"Padme was your choice, "Leia pointed out. "The force made no provision for her."

"The force made me sacrifice everything that I love!" Bitterness in Rey's voice, tears forming in her eyes, "Ben, Stut, my baby-!"

"They're alive aren't they?"

Rey shook her head, "Not Stut.. he was so young and innocent, he didn't deserve to die."

"The force will honor his loss."

"What about my loss?"

"It's small compared with your fate to the Resistance and rebuilding the Jedi Order."

Rey shook her head once more, trying to clear it. Was she just being selfish? What was one broken heart compared to the safety of the Resistance? Where was her loyalty? Rey dipped her head, "I understand.." she promised.

Leia nodded, "Good.. now hurry up and gather those berries before the get mushy." Leia then turned and slowly made her way back down the ravine, back into the camp.

Rey sat there as tears dripped down her face.. confusion, hurt, and anger filling in her soul, not knowing what to do. She shook her head and laid down on the grass.. trying to clear her mind.

Ya ik this chapter is whatever.. but it was needed. Next chapter is going to be on Ben's third POV or Leia's.. still deciding, but I hope you enjoyed!

In a galaxy far, far, away,
          -Kira<3