the camping trip | bakudeku

3

Kastuki's POV:

"I would do everything to have my best friend back" I hear deku whispering as he wanted to leave the table where we ate together.

I choke on my food understanding want he meant and the only thing i was able to say with my mouth was a simple fucking "what."

He coldly looks back at my way "nothing you should care about." And damn man how much that hurt me. I sat here for about 30 more minutes thinking about all the bad things I said and have done to izuku, yes I know I've been terrible towards him and I know it's all my fault but honestly? I guess everyone copes differently with their feelings, even if it isn't excusable for what I did and I could never forgive myself for it. And recently it has been harder and harder being mean and ignoring him and I feel like I'll explode one day just the way I like to explode people's heads. It's so damn tiring hiding all these feelings I've been bottling up since I was younger for him, I feel like I'm torturing myself by doing all this and I don't know how to fix it. So maybe just maybe this "camping" shit with deku will help me, but I guess it's good to hope. But like hope..? i dont really think i can hope, cause i was like his own personal villain growing up, for fucks sake i even told him to take a swan dive. And honestly, its not like i'll ever forgive myself about this or the way i treated the person who never gave up on me no matter what and the person i love the most in this entire universe. 

After I finished mumbling to myself like the fucking nerd I am I decided to go home and get ready but eh? I put my earphones in and started listening to music and I got lost in my thoughts, just thinking about his eyes. Those were his greenish eyes. They were so beautiful, so calming and peaceful. They were the kind of eyes that could make you fall in love. His beautiful hair, that i wanted to stroke all day. His perfect face, that i wanted to kiss. And his freckles? That's like the most beautiful and cute thing in the world. His hands, these cute hands. I could be able to kill to touch them. His heart.. This heart, closed by a million of brambles and chains. This beautiful heart, that got shared apart a thousand time, he was so beautiful. This heart was hiding a whole paradise. I wanted to get close to this heart, who seemed like mine. I wanted to get to know this heart before anyone else does. I wanted to break those chains and brambles that was hiding this paradise : this was hiding the love, the calm, the pain, all. No matter what, I wanted that our hearts collide together. I wanted to show this heart that i wanted to get to know him, to help him and to love him. I fell in love with his heart, with his soul. His shattered soul but yet beautiful. I just liked it the way it was, no matter how it was. It was charming, he was charmi- oh my god snap out of it katsuki bakugo, fucking deku makes my mind go crazy.

So as I was lost in my thoughts about this pretty and stupid nerd I realized I wasn't home but in a park, but not just a simple park, i was in the park where me and izuku used to play all day, and chase butterflies all day along. I looked around and I see deku- wait DEKU?? what the hell is he doing here? Wasn't it enough that I couldn't take him out of my mind now he has to be here now?? and on top of it I was crying. Great, just great.

I wiped my tears away with my hand and went in deku's direction only to see him walking in front of me with his AirPods on and being concentrated looking at his phone, so of course the nerd he was he bumped in me hurting his head.

I look at him and we make eye contact, after a while I chose to break the silence and ask him "izuku what are you doing here?"

i ask him while i was getting closer to him and i saw a tear on his cheek, and something inside me told me that, that tear was there because of me, and i guess i knew that so maybe that's why i tried to whip it off.. and he.. flinched at my sudden action, yeah. That hurt man x2.