You Live And Learn

10 | peace and playgrounds

"Asshole," Camille says as soon as we walk out of the gymnasium. She still is holding my forearm and leading me somewhere. I am just trying to figure out what just happened. Mitchell just came out of nowhere and ruined everything. We were having a moment, and he made it his mission to rain on our parade. If hate is a strong word then I absolutely abhor him. However, I'm also angry at myself. How can I let myself, in front of Camille nevertheless, be pushed around like that? It was as though my body simply froze. Looking back at it, I really looked bitch made. I am definitely not used to those types of interactions. In fact, I'm still trying to figure out regular ones. Thinking about what just happened, electricity flows throughout my body. Great, the adrenaline came after the big altercation. What can it do for me now?

"Hey Camille, where are we going?" I ask out loud, we already left school and headed somewhere.

"Just somewhere for us to cool off, don't worry. We're soon there actually," Camille responds. I'll just take her word for it. After realizing the path we took, I know where we are now. We're going to the local park. Around this time it is not that crowded, probably just some kids on the playgrounds. It's not the biggest one around, but it is more than enough. There's a basketball and tennis court, the playground with the swings, slides, and other kid stuff, and some benches/tables if you want to eat and chill. My guess is that Camille took us here so we, me in particular, can forget what just happened. Sadly, she doesn't know that it's already etched into my memory.

After a five-minute walk, we finally arrive at the park. My hypothesis was correct, as she found a bench for us to sit on. It is right next to the playground. I can see children doing what they do best, having fun. There's laughter and squealing as they come down the slide or jumping off the swings. I remember those days, life was so simple. You had no worries. Your biggest problem would be if you missed your favorite show on a Saturday morning. Now I have to worry about which college to attend and dickheads to deal with. For a moment on the bench, we sit in silence. It was just like that on the way here. Then after a while, Camille gaze at me with a soft expression on her face.

"You okay, Lo?" She asks me. It is pretty much what she asks when we were still at the gymnasium. I don't want her to see this weak side of me. It's unbecoming of a man. That may be true, but it still hurt. Camille hesitates for a moment, then begins to rub my back. The motion is so soothing. "Come on talk to me, Alonzo," she pleads.

"I'm just fine, Cami," My built-in answer comes out. I don't look at her when I answer. I simply just look at the children playing on the swings in front of us. She doesn't have to see the inner turmoil in my head. I want to show her I'm a strong guy. That she can depend on me in bad times, not the other way around. I feel so weak right now, having to be comforted by a girl who shouldn't even have an interest in me.

"Don't lie to me, Alonzo," she says softly. Instead of her usual cold tone when reprimanding me, it's very gentle this time. "You may not think it, but I know you. We haven't been hanging out for that long, but you're one of those people who always show their emotions. You may not have realized it, but I did." Wait, what? I actually do that? I never knew.

"With that said, I have a vague idea of how you are feeling right now," Camille continues. "I know that you're upset. Your body has been tense since we left school and it still is now. Come on, relax." After she says that, she uses her hand that was on my back, to rest my head on her lap. "Go on, get comfortable," I can practically hear the smile in her voice. I follow her orders and do exactly what she said. Once I am comfy, I take time to relish in this position. Her lap is literally up there as one of the best pillows I had in my lifetime. It feels like your chilling on the world's softest material. She then resumes running her hand through my head.

"I know you didn't like what happened just now," She goes on. "Mitchell had no reason to be that rude towards you."

"You two seem close," I say. Based on how he was talking to her, I know there was definitely something between them. I may be dumb but I'm not stupid.

"Well, I do know him. We use to talk over the summer, but nothing really happened. I find out he was a douchebag so I did nothing with him," Camille admits. That should make me feel better, but honestly, it had the opposite effect. Of course, they had something going on before. Like look at them, they would be the perfect power couple in school. Basketball star and volleyball captain, together in love. That would be the ideal pairing. Then there's me, the average joe at school. Not particularly good at anything and just live his life aimlessly. Yet, somehow I'm laying in the lap of a goddess. This feels like those '2 +2= 5' situations. It doesn't make a bit of sense.

"Oh, okay" I have nothing to say. I just feel defeated. Life wins this round, just like the previous ones. At this point, I should just raise the white flag.

"Lonzo, don't be like that. I'm here with you now, aren't I?" Wow. I guess she really can tell my emotions. "You can be vulnerable around me. You can talk to me, if you need someone, just let me know. I honestly enjoy the past few weeks we've been hanging out. The date we've been on, the meetups at school, even right now. I enjoyed it all. I always had an eye out for you. So when you asked me out, I was excited. Also, very nervous. I wanted to look my best for you, at all the most opportune times. I also know that you're very fond of the leggings I'm wearing right now." Oh, so she did know what she was doing. Makes sense. I could only help but chuckle.

"Yeah, I know, trust me. But I don't mind wearing them for you. You make me feel alive Alonzo, it is such a refreshing feeling. Everyone wants me to act a certain way but with you it's different. I'm everyone's princess and they treat me accordingly. They're afraid of me, so I can tell fake people right away. They only talk to me because of my external factors. But, you Zo, are so different. I can actually speak my mind around you. I can let go of my guard with you around. You don't get upset by constant mood changes. You just accept me for who I am and I'm so grateful for that. So who says the opposite can't be true." Her words make my eyes water, and her tone isn't helping either.

"So let it out, Alonzo. It's only us here after all." She lowers her head right next to my ear.

"You're safe with me," She whispers then kisses me on my cheek.

At this point, it's free real estate. The tears I've been holding back finally flows. Through it all, Camille rubs my head and back to comfort me. It is such a relief to finally show emotion like this. I feel, human.

"It's been so hard" I can barely get the words out, my voice won't work right now. All the thoughts, I've been pushing down comes crashing to the surface. The negative thoughts, the comparisons, just everything. At this moment, everything is overflowing.

"It's okay love, it's okay. I'm here."

A/N: Honestly, this may be my favorite chapter so far. The Camille and Alonzo connection is getting stronger as time progresses. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please consider voting and leaving a comment. Until the next one.

~Antor