25 | actions and attention

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The sound of an angry man yelling fills my room the moment my alarm goes off. Instinctively, I turn off the alarm and get out of bed. Since last night's conversation with Leo and Taylor, there has been a different feeling in my body. I feel nothing can stop me from doing what I want to do. I can't put my finger on this emotion, but oh well.

I take a shower then finish getting ready for the day. In just under eighteen minutes, I got ready for school in record timing today. The average before this was half an hour. It would be drifting off into random thoughts most of the time before actually doing an action. 

My mom was still cooking breakfast when I headed downstairs. The way her eyes raised when she saw me enter the kitchen was enough for me to realize that it's been a while since I have been up and about. 

"Hey, mom, what's on the menu today?" I ask her as I sit down at the dining table. 

"I didn't know you were going to school today, so I was going to prepare something light if that's okay?" She responds as she flips over some pancakes. 

"That's great by me. I know anything you cook will be amazing."

Amid her cooking, she flashes a quick smile." Aw, thank you, hun." Ten minutes later, she hands me a plate of pancakes and scrambled eggs, which taste fantastic. I compliment her cooking, and it seems like tears are forming in her eyes. 

"I have to go now, mom. I'll see you later."

"Okay, try to have fun today, hun," She waves me off at the diner table. I wave back and step out the door. It's been almost a week since I've gone to school. I stay there on my doorstep, taking in the scenery. A couple of houses down, one of my elderly neighbors is taking care of her garden. One of the neighborhood's helpful men is washing his  BMW at the house opposite me. He sees me and gives me a quick salute. I return the gesture and smile, just admiring his hard work. Right now, it looks like he's just enjoying life with his Disney slides on. They must be his wife's. Anyway, I've heard his story before, and it was enough to make my eyes sweat a little bit. 

If he can do it, why can't I?

I take a step from the doorstep and make it onto the sidewalk. This is the start of something new, just like the HSM song.

***

Twelve minutes later, I approach the school. Instinctively, dread fills my entire system. Everything is screaming at me to turn back and stay in the comfort of my house, but I fight down those thoughts. I won't go anywhere if I hide forever. It's time for me to come out.

I reach the school's entrance and grab the door handle, pulling it back in the process. The familiar sound of hormonal teens complaining about something rings my ears. Yep, it's the same place, all right. I place my right foot into the building and the other. Being the nosy people they are, all of them turn their heads to see who's entering the building.

Silence.

My footsteps are the only thing that is audible as I walk through the corridor. I felt everyone's eyes on me, following the direction I was walking in. This reminds me of when Camille broke the news that we were dating. They were shocked then, and now it's the same feeling again but for a different reason. I can tell by the whispers that they didn't expect me to return.

What they don't know is that I'm back for blood. 

On the outside, my face is void of emotion. It looks like nothing is fazing me when in reality, I'm trying my best not to panic and bolt to home. A couple of minutes later, I arrive at my homeroom classroom. Just like in the corridor, every conversation stops when I enter the room. I choose to ignore the stares again and sit at my usual spot. Everyone is watching every move I make. I take a book out of my book, put in my headphones, and start to draw. 

My plan is already in motion, but I won't strike yet. It's too early for that.

I'm in the middle of drawing a glorified stickman when someone taps on my desk with a pen. I take out my headphones and look up to see who it is. A cheeky grin is on Taylor's face as he prepares to smack my neck with max velocity. I caught it in time, though, and blocked it for the first time.

"No way you actually blocked it." He laughs.

"Oh but, I did." We do our signature handshake, and he pulls a chair next to my seat. 

"So, how you're feeling right now?" 

"To be honest, I'm a little scared, but at least I'm here right now." 

He pats my shoulder, "that's the spirit, my boy. I'm proud that you showed up today." We chat for a bit then he leaves for his homeroom. He mentions that he'll see me later for lunch. When my homeroom teacher, Mrs. Prenz, walks in, she glances in my direction quickly. 

"Alonzo, it's good to see you again," she says with a warm smile. 

"Yes, ma'am, glad to be back," I respond loud enough for her to hear. She smiles again and goes over her daily 'how she thinks the day will go' routine. Like most students, I tune out the moment she starts talking. I peer out the window and begin daydreaming of better days. 

Camille POV

He's back. Oh my God, he's actually back. 

I didn't see him, but Sophia spotted him while he was walking to one of his classes. Today's Thursday, and it's the third period. He's in geography right about now. If I play my cards right, I may find a way to see him today. We have lunch at the same time today too, so it's perfect—either that or when classes are over. 

I need to see him. I hope he's okay. If I see anyone ridicule him today, they will feel my wrath. In his words, 'Ice Cami' is out to play, and she's not messing around. I'm in the middle of my orchestrating my plan when a voice calls out to me,

"Ms. Posher?" Mr. Cucker, my history teacher, calls out to me. Mr. Cucker, unaffectionately called Cuck by students, is a middle-aged man who has been miserable since he came to this school five years ago. He grades hard and loves any moment to tear down students' self-esteem. I jerk up immediately.

"Yes?" The entire class starts snickering.

"I've called your name three times, and you didn't hear me. I don't know what boy got you in fairytale land but snap out of it." He curtly remarks. At this point, a few guys in the back start laughing. Cuck glares at them, and they immediately shut up. He asks me a question, and I correctly answer so he can finally get off my nuts and bother someone else. I don't care if those guys laugh at me. I have already got used to it since yesterday. But let someone talk to Alonzo like that.

I don't think I would be able to control my rage.

Twenty minutes later, the bell rings, and that period is over, and it's on to the next class. I just need to get through this last one, and I will get to see him—a few more minutes.

Alonzo POV

The fourth period is finally over, and I can get something to eat. So far, so good, no one mentioned what happened. It helps that these were boring classes and people slept for most of the classes. Just a little bit more and I can go back home without any problems. As I'm on the line for some food, a random dude walks past me and starts laughing. I already know it's about me.

I try to push down the nervousness that is creeping up. I get my lunch and find the table that my homies are sitting at. I spot them and head over to sit with them. Spencer is the first to notice me. 

He gets up to greet me, and we do the group's handshake. "What's up, bro? I haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, bro, I've been here and there, but we're back now." Kyle hangs his around my neck and beats on my chest out of nowhere.

"That's what we like to hear, come sit, let's enjoy that the prodigal son has returned," Kyle says.

And we did. We spent like fifteen minutes catching up on everything I missed. Apparently, a teacher fought a security guard at a mall, the principal relationship got put on blast, and even more stuff. It's amazing how on the days when you're not at school, the crazy stuff always happens. We are having a good time laughing when I hear a familiar voice that immediately causes my heart to hurt,

"Hey, we need to talk," she says.

Oh boy.


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