Streets and Sheets 5

Daddy's Maybe

"E you need to go home." She continued to say as the we all walked through the front door of the town home.

"I need to be here. Sloane has apologized a million times this isn't anything new." I put Amir's car seat down and took him out of it while the boys ran around their second home.

"Mommy when is Leila coming home?" Nasir asked me from a far.

"Tomorrow baby." I replied.

"E I'm fine. If I'm pregnant then... I guess I will figure it out. I'm not having an abortion." I rocked Amir as he got fussy. I stepped back. I had a feeling that Erin already knew her fate.

"I just don't want you to be alone." I watched the boys run around.

"I told you this isn't your fault. I knew what I was doing. I didn't one he was out here doing all this extra shit but..."

"Erin this is my fault. I should have never..." She raised her hand to cut me off.

"E I would love to blame this shit on someone but it's not you. E I was lonely. I'm 24 and I have been single for a while. He showed me attention I knew when he came over here that I should have never let him in. But it was good, it felt good E." Tears streamed down her face as the boys stopped playing. I sat speechless as she grabbed a bag of test.

"Look E I'll take the test but..."

"I don't wanna push you. If you want me to go home I can take the boys and call you tomorrow." My sister already knew she was pregnant. There's nothing that I can do and she wouldn't even let me take the blame or help her.

"Leave the boys. I'll take care of the boys, just go and talk to Sloane." I took a deep breath.

"I'm tired of talking to Sloane." I said plainly. I didn't have much to say to him. I wanted a shower and to get in the bed.

"Y'all have a lot to talk about."

"When did you become so Pro Sloane?" I said walking the living room.

"Your marriage is worth fighting for in my eyes. That's from our side looking in even without the extra shit E." She said as I sat down. I thought about crying but it wasn't with it.

"Is it really? Sloane and I are nothing to look up to." I asked knowing that this would soon flip on me.

"Why would you say that?" Erin frowned her face up.

"Look at me. Look at the shit that I have to go through. This isn't normal shit Erin." I said .

"E you have to. What about the boys?" She asked me. I rolled my eyes as I got my answer ready.

"I don't want to stay in a fucked up relationship because of my boys. Sloane can't keep blaming the shit he is doing on insecurities. We argue and he feels like he can go out and do what ever he want." I tried not to get upset.

"His insecurities?"

"Everytime some shit happens he talks about how he felt like he doesn't deserve me and all this other shit. It's like he is waiting for me to fuck sow we can be even. Like it will make him feel better if I laid down with Tay or any other man." It made sense now that I had said it out loud.

"Why don't you?" She asked me.

"What else is out there? I could go find someone to have sex with but it's not going to be better than what I get at home. I'm sure there is someone it there that would actually love me the way they say they do." I stopped myself from getting too deep.

"Do you think Leila is his daughter?" My sisters know everything there was to know about Sloane and I's situation when I was younger. They needed to cover for me when I was with him so telling them made it easy. I laid back on the couch as the tears fell effortlessly.

"I didn't mean to make you cry E."

"She could be. She... might be."

"Really? Have y'all talked about it?" She asked.

"He made some really good points. Erin he stayed real facts and he when he spoke it all came back. Erin if she is his then I would have never needed to give her up." I paused as I looked at the ceiling.

"What made you stop talking to Sloane?" She asked you if the blue.

"After he took my virginity I liked the way he made me feel. I could spend days with him and it felt like the world stopped. It was scary, and I was with another person so I stopped it. I mean I was a kid but that's not an excuse."

"You were a kid. You always tell me we can't go backwards, only forwards." She sat next to me.

"I don't know why I thought... and then I told Tay I was pregnant and cut Sloane off because I was scared. After that Sloane was really cold and the whole city felt it." I though about all of the shit he did out of anger and the need for attention.

"I thought I was doing the right thing. I really thought that I had the timeline right. He held on to the fact that he... he never said anything and he had every opportunity to tell Tay that we..."
I paused to get my thoughts together.

"If she is then I... I played a part in making her life so much more complicated." My heart dropped. At this point I wouldn't be able to use my age as an excuse.

"E don't beat yourself up about this. You were young and you did what you could at the time."

"If I would have slowed down and took the time to look at the situation I could have avoided this." I stated.

"There is no moving backwards. Only forwards. Knowing your husband, he just wants to know to hold it over his head eventually. E you need to go home. Do you love him?"

"I do. I really do and I have played a huge part in this bullshit." I made myself be with Tay because I thought that's what I needed to do since Lucky was with Sloane. Oh let myself I have a taste of what it was like to be with Sloane and tried to forget it.

"So take responsibility for it. I'll have to take responsibility for this baby if I'm pregnant."

"I'll have to. But can you tell me the truth?" I asked her as I straightened up.

"I have missed my period. It just never came but I... I don't know."

•
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Home
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I parked I front of the house and noticed all of the flowers that lined the steps. Once I got out of the car Sloane opened the front door. We made eye contact as I closed the car door.

"What happened to your 2021's?" I asked as he walked down the front steps.

"Our 2022's are around." He stood in front of me and maintained little distance. Sloane never made me feel like I want apart of the moves he made. Everything was ours and was important.

"Or really?" I said trying not to argue.

"Are you going to let me touch you?" He licked his lips and he looked me up and down.

"You being funny?" He wrapped his arm around my waist before I could step back.

"You get a little moist if I touch you. Or that's what I think."

"Baby..."

"I'm baby now? That's better than just Sloane or nigga." He whispered before kissing me.

"You make me sick. You know what you are doing." We knew each other like the back of our hand and he abused it every chance he got.

"I just want to..."

"You what? What do you want Sloane?"

"I just want to eat you."

"Can we just go in the house?" I cut him off.

"What's wrong?"

"I umm... Sloane." He looked me in they eyes which made it hard for me to think. It was like my chest got heavy and it was hard to breathe.

"E you don't have to say anything. I didn't bring it up to make you feel bad. You and I both know... we don't have to talk about it. She doesn't need to know especially if it makes you like this." He pulled me in to his chest as the night air hit us. Tears fell down my face as I broke down.

"Im sorry. Sloane I am so sorry." I came to terms with the situation.

"We can let it go. Don't cry."