Streets and Sheets 5

Live Wire

Emerald
•

"It started the night he came over looking for you and Sloane. In the moment I lied but that was the start." She started.

"Why lie?" I asked taking a bottle of water from the shelf.

"I realize how fucked up it was. He was just sobering up and I was completely sober and knew he was married. He was so sweet and talked about not being happy and once he touched me..." She paused.

"It went down hill from there. But that was the best shit I have had in a while so it started happening once or twice a week and then every day. It seemed like it could work, I mean he is so kind and patient. E he has dreams and a lot of trauma, i was getting to know him on a different level." She said. This is what I was afraid of.

"He started coming over more often and I liked him being around. Then he stopped going home and it hit me that this wasn't a relationship. I was going to have to give him up. I wouldn't have someone asking me how my day was and making sure that I was ok you know? I mean he was clearly never mine but for a few weeks he was." I watched her dry the tear. She was really in too deep to come back and I know how she feels.

"I know this is my fault, I put myself in the situation but it felt good to be there. Well until I saw them here and realized that she couldn't possibly have a clue. Then it wasn't worth it."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Smiling in her face and knowing that he was at my door, hell in my bed, not even 24 hours before made me feel like shit. Not only that but just thinking about the sex we would have if I could see him later. Oh my gosh E it was all I could think about. My mental is so fucking cloudy I cannot tell up from down anymore." I could tell she was hurting and was really thrown off by her actions. The only thing was Maiya wasn't going to have the same sympathy.

"I know you so I won't lie. What y'all are doing is way messed up but there are two players in this game. Are you ready to be a step mom? Can you deal with all that comes with being with a divorced man with a kid?" I asked being completely honest.

"Where you ready to be with Sloane? He has his faults." She asked. I took some time to remind myself that she was my sister.

"This isn't about me and him." I pointed out.

"I want to know though E." She replied.

"Sloane has a whole lot of issues and is separate from his married babe. He has some mental diagnoses, been through rehab, and some more shit. On top of that, he has not cut cards. My baby is shoot first and ask questions later but he loves me and I know to deal with it a little better. Plus he has come along way. People used to tell me he was crazy all the time and I never thought any thing of it until we got together." I paused. I could go in and on but it's not about my husband.

"So why did you marry him?" She asked.

"I married him because I fell in love with him. He was so rough but so gentle. He didn't think twice when I needed him. I mean we had history even before moving in with him. Once the flirting starts it was hard to think about being with anyone else. Once we started sleeping in the save bed that was it..." I had a flash back to the time he caught me master-bating.

"So you knew you liked him then?" She continued to ask questions.

"Sloane... he and Tay were friends, the ran the streets together and shit. You remember." I said remembering that she wasn't that young.

"Yeah."

"Lucky and Sloane were together but he alway flirted with me which made Tay mad. We had our own friendship that fell off once they stopped talking and picked up once they did. But he we always hot on my trail even though I was in another relationship. When we broke up Sloane was there and I needed to make sure I wasn't just rebounding or whatever."

"That makes sense." She said as I continue to tell her shit she already knew.

"Once the tension grew it was like it was heard to breath. The cat and mouse stuff was getting old so we kinda, well I kinda..." I thought about us having sex for the first time.

"Did you know about all the things that he came with?"

"Yeah I had glimpses of the anger issue but once I met his dad I could see why he is the way he is. He would go to the moon for me and I wanted that. I didn't want to be with anyone else once we started having sex regularly. I literally couldn't keep my fucking hands off him. The way he walked, talked, and moved made me weak. It still does. In the beginning, it was different and I couldn't imagine him cheating because we were always together." I pointed out accidentally still thinking about our earlier interactions.

"Even though he cheated and I have love for my daughters dad I'm glad I didn't make him sign the divorce papers. I don't know how that helps you but yeah. I didn't see any of his flaws as burdens at first, especially because I though they were sexy until I realize where they stem from." I paused again.

"That's my baby, my husband, and I talk a lot of shit but he isn't going anywhere." I said coming to terms with the fact that I wasn't going to let him go.

"Hmmm." She said thinking.

"I could go on and in about him but what are you going to do when he gets here? Will you be here?" I turned the conversation back to her.

"So you just learned to deal with him?" She asked.

"Yes. He was known for being a live wire when we were young and he was respected. So when we got together and I learned his story I made sure he talked to some doctor that gave us real answers. He won't tell anybody that but that's how it happened. But Sloane worked on himself a lot too... Wait are you considering getting together with Nate? Like fo real?" I realized that she was collecting intel to support her choices.

"I think I want to be with him." My heart sank. The reality was she was going to make her in choices however, it feels like I pushed her in that direction by telling my story.

"Erin, are you serious?" I asked trying not to shame her.

"You married Sloane knowing how he was. You know he used to terrorize the city. Motherfucker are still afraid of him so I can deal with Maiya." She said confidently.

"That is if he is willing to." She added.

"What do you mean?" I asked desperately trying to understand why she wanted all of this in her life.

"There is a chance that he will want to be with his family." She said.

"Are you hearing yourself? If it's about the physical aspects I'm sure that you will meet someone soon." I spoke up.

"Sloane would sleep in you if you let him, plus you are pregnant every day. Why can't I want that for myself E."She said getting emotional. I was thoroughly confused.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I am nothing to look up to and what we do or don't do is..." As soon as I tried to back track the door bell rang.