Streets and Sheets 5

Apology

Emerald
•
"I'll be there after I leave the barbershop. Did you get to the school?" My husband asked as I looked at the time.

"I'm pulling up now."

"Ok I love you." He said as said.

"I love you more." I said before hanging up.

I had to stop by Leila's school before my doctor's appointment. She left her shoes at in the trunk and it didn't make sense to make her father to come to the house when I was goin to the city. Tay was taking her to dance class after picking her up after school and I had enough time to make the exchange. I took some deep breath's knowing that this could go left very quickly. A normal pick up and drop off routine didn't involve any real contact or conversation. If we did speak the conversations were very brief and only pertaining to our daughter.

I pulled in to the school parking lot about 15 minutes before the school let out. I was able to pull up beside him, get out, and grab the shoes from the trunk.

"Big body I see. It's nice." He asked reacting to the new truck. He got out of his car, making sure to check his surroundings.

"Outgrew the old one you know?" I responded.

"Mmhmm" He got out of his vehicle stretching his legs as we spoke.

"Surprised that you are on time." I opened and closed the lift gate.

"E about the funeral..." He said as I came back in to his view.

"Look..."

"That was a lot." He said I thought about what really happened at the funeral. I told my sisters we didn't even speak when we almost did a lot more than that.

"It was." I had a flash back to his hands creeping up my thighs.

"I didn't mean to... when I saw you I don't know what I was thinking. When you came to the my office I though I was... never mind." He stopped. Speaking for myself, I was really ashamed. How can I have been so weak? All it took was three seconds alone while passing in a hallway for me to break.

"That office... I shouldn't have came to your job like that."

"I tried to be the bigger person and that shit ate me up. I just didn't want to take advantage of  you when you were going through what ever... I didn't want to start something that want going to be long term..."

"That was... I shouldn't have put you in that position. I knew you had something going on with ole girl and it was selfish of me to expect you to do that." I was able to spit out a full sentence.

"I... look E I wanted to. Apart of me really really wanted to but you were going to fuck me and go back to your life. I has to think about myself. It would have fucked me up." He said.

"We... We can't be around each other Tay. I have to love you from a far because I can't hurt my family." I leaned against my truck and folded my arms. I maintained eye contact with the ground.

"We still love each other. We have a kid we can't not be around each other." He said, makings a good point.

"We do still love each other but it doesn't matter. I think about you a little too much sometimes and now I have to see you..." I was ashamed to say it but it needed to be said.

"It was my fault. If you were my main focus then we would still be together. I can't be mad that he put you first when I didn't. Look we never hashed out our break up and we don't need to start now. I should've kissed you at the funeral. I shouldn't have touched you." He cut me off.

"It's both of our faults. I don't even know how we got in that head space." I ran my fingers through my hair.

"I... This is what we've always thought about. You know, raising our kid and I hate the way it happened this way and I don't want to mess this up."