Streets and Sheets 5

14. Down Bad

I sat in the bed accompanied by a pile of tissues. I forced myself right to sleep after my husband left last night. I remained  curled up in the same pitiful ball from last night.

I decided to clean. Scrub my home from top to bottom to forget my times of weakness. I popped out if bed starting down stairs. I used every think I could to make the floors sparkle because scrubbing the kitchen. I allowed music to blast through the speakers.

"I can't believe I let him fuck me like that." I said to myself as I threw all of the old food a way. It was like I could still feel him inside of me, slutting me out for my enjoyment. I stood on my tippy toes to wipe the stainless steel down before moving all of the boys toys to the den. I disinfected every toy individually, putting them away.

I took inventory of diapers before moving back down to the living where I moved the clutches around. I took the time to lift the cushions and vacuum just because. My dining room was neat and never used but the high chairs that needed TLC. After a good scrub I caught my breath taking in the scent of lemons and lavender. I walked up stairs think about anything  else I could clean before showering. I changed my sheets again just to make me feel better. I nodded my head to the music as I gathered all of the laundry basket. I good the thick roll of $100 bills Sloane left as I stared a load. Shaking my head, I grabbed a fresh towel and washcloth and headed back upstairs to shower now that everything was in order. It felt good to get clean after the recent events.

•
30 minutes later
•

I had been listing to Xavier Ömar since I got out of the shower. I threw in some comfortable clothes before taking the clothes out of the dryer. I quickly folded the boys clothes before heading out to the store. Singing along to the music made me think happy thoughts as I put the clothes  away and grabbed my keys. Usually I go out the back foot and down the stairs but the knocking on the front door stopped me. I could see who it was through the glass as I walked up.

"You rang?" He said as soon as I opened the door. I pushed Tay backwards, slightly stepping out to see if any one was watching the house.

"I called you yesterday. That doesn't mean show up." I gave him the go ahead to go in the house. I took the extra steps to check the mail before noticing he parked his care right in front of the house.

"I was knocking for a while too." I turned around to see him watching me as I walked back up to the house. I wondered how long he was out here. I looked to my left  and my right knowing that my kid's father has someone sitting outside of the house.

"If you looking for your tail he is on the other side of the street." He confirmed my suspicions.

"How did you know where I lived?" I looked through the mail before closing and locking the door. I spent some more time looking at the black truck long enough to see the man inside pick up his phone.

Shit. I thought to myself. Now I'm going to have to handle this.

"Is that a real question?" He said sarcastically following me to the kitchen. I watched him open and close the refrigerator as he complemented me in how good it smelled.

"Your right. The real question is why exactly you are here. Day late and a dollar short buddy." I unlocked my phone to see the time.

"I'm just a piece of meat to you? Now Im a a nut, a body to fuck on every now and again." He laughed before getting serious.

"He hurt you that bad, bad enough to make  you heartless like that?" I laughed even though there was genuine concern in his voice.

"It's not funny Emerald, that's not you." It wasn't. I loved the idea of love. Honestly I didn't even believe in relationships if my heart wasn't in it. It wasn't me to only call on the men in my life for sex and it didn't fell good to do it.

"A girl's got needs. Real ones." I was stone faced as I used the wall to hold me up. I had only ever been with Sloane and Tay so it was natural that I flipped between the two. There was no time to find someone new with the boys around. Plus having someone who knows exactly what I want and how I want it was fine with me for right now.

"Don't shut me out like that. This is me you're talking to and since I caused a little bit of your pain I know what it looks like." I rolled my eyes to the ceiling focusing on the rotation of the fan.

"What do you want me to say? Shits been a little less than perfect." I shook my head still looking at the fan. I used my right hand to cover my eyes before remembering the rest of the things I set out to do today. I though about telling him what was wrong but tit was best to keep the chaos in house.

"Any one that would rather be on the streets rather then watch you go through pregnancy is a fool." I turned my face up. When I was pregnant with Leila Tay was there and in full effect. Now that I think back, I don't see how he was able to go through with the adoption,

"Before you ask, Kev told me and how he found out I don't know." He closes the gap between us as I laid my head on the wall. I debated asking him what exactly he found out from ole Kevin but let it go.

"If I fought for you half as much as he did he wouldn't be in the picture. He loves you if he didn't he wouldn't be moving around the way he does." I couldn't believe the he was taking up for him.

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"I'm not saying it's ok but he is down bad. I mean it doesn't seem like you're coming back to me but at least you see that he isn't any different. At least you knew what I was doing and my last time doing you wrong was my last." He gave me goosebumps as he slowly grabbed my hand. He ran his thumb across my knuckles now with a respectable distance between us.

"You are making this really hard for me." I looked up at him. I haven't loved anyone like I love Deontay or Sloane. I'm terrified to figure out what happens if I let either one of them back in to my life or if I don't.
While Tay was my first but Sloane was supposed to be my last.

"I don't mean to E. When I say you belong to me I mean you're in my heart and I don't care what anyone has to say about it."

"So what Tay? If we get back together how is it going to look? I have kids now." I asked him already knowing where he was directing the conversation.

"It's going to look the way it was supposed to. As far as the kids I'll treat them as if the are my own." He still held my hand.

"I can't think about that right now. I need to go to the store before Erin brings they boys back." I dont want to entertain the thought of him taking care of my kids no matter how ok he was with it.

"Let me take you." He said quickly.

"You know that's not a good idea." I let his hand go, walking to grab my wallet.

"I know but, I don't give a damn."

••
Looks like it may get real spice real soon.
Will Sloane confront E?
A better question, will she tell the truth when he asks what happened?