Uncovered - H.S

Twenty Eight. Sun.

Play "Alewife"- Clairo 

Making our way out of the car I couldn't help but feel stressed. Was that a bad decision? The alcohol had left most of my system now and I was overthinking as usual. What if he regrets it? What if he realised I wasn't what he wanted? 

Shuffling to the entrance tears pricked my eyes at the overdrive my brain was currently in. I stopped and stared at the stars above me, the crisp black was so easily swallowing the fragmented shatters of glass we call stars- just like they do every time I look up. Squeezing my eyes tightly I tried to shake the feeling I was getting, but how else was i supposed to feel? I didn't know kindness like Harry has shown me, sure his way of showing it would be questioned by others sometimes but I didn't care. I knew what it meant for him to show he cared, and what it meant for me I can guarantee was that times a thousand. 

Harry caught up behind me and linked his arm with mine, slightly pulling me towards the entrance but I faltered. 

No words were spoke as he looked at me for a while- and once I looked at him his mop of curly hair was all I could see as he lowered to the floor. Sitting on the cold concrete step he patted the space next to him, adjusting his legs in his jeans and bringing his knees to his chest. Giving me a quick cheeky smile I could tell he knew I was bothered by something, and this was his way of getting it out of me without being overwhelming.

"So darling..." he began softly, placing his hand next to mine- so close we were almost touching but sadly we weren't. I wouldn't look at him, this was silly, I knew for a fact every other girl- or guy for that matter- didn't have an existential crisis after doing something sexual with him. 

"Hey," he whispered, "look at me." I did, of course. I'd do anything he asked I think, and I knew it was becoming a problem for me. "Don't overthink it, I made you feel good- your mind was clear and so was mine." 

"So I was a distraction?" I teased, knowing that's not what he meant but it was fun to watch him stress. He rarely ever did. 

"Wha- no! no, that's not what I- of course you're not, if anything you're the reason I have something to look forward to in the mornings, I cherish my time with you Angel." He spoke, calming out towards the end as the conversation got quite heavy all of a sudden. He bit his lip harshly whilst his cheeks flushed a little pink. 

I giggled at him and he breathed out a laugh, releasing his lip from between his teeth and staring at me.  

"Tu es mon lever de soleil, Harry." I whispered gently. You are my sunrise Harry.

"Hm? What was that?" he questioned.

Harry was silent for a while after I didn't answer him, playing with his rings and nudging his shoe with mine when i'd go to quiet. I felt a lot better now, and he knew I did too. I think we were just simply out here because we could be, the night was nearly as pretty as Harry and perhaps we both decided to fuck it and just sit out out here until we didn't feel like it anymore. That was the thing about Harry styles, I could do something simply because I wanted to.  

Soft parted breaths from both our lips bled into the heavy air, the quick little intake of breath Harry would intake once in a while mingled with the syllabic rhythm we had going on before, messing up the even pattern of our breath-full song. Messing something up with grace was Harrys speciality- he'd messed up my bearing of right and wrong, good and bad, love and hate- it was his signature move he didn't even realise he was playing. 

My dad liked chess, and he would say that Harry would play the Queen's Gambit as his opener- start with a defence and see where the game takes you. I think that would describe the legend of Harry styles quite nicely- always starting with something that would shield him from getting attacked first. The coldness, the disassociation and the pure effort he puts into trying not to get attached is his Queens Gambit. I just needed to figure out my counter move to keep him from shaking my hand and tipping his cherrywood King chess piece over on to the board- resigning from our game.