I don't need your help | Raven Reyes

pt8- funeral

"Hundreds of people will be sacrificed to keep the Ark's oxygen supply sufficient." Her words had been running through my mind ever since she told me. I couldn't help but let my thoughts slip to my father, I knew what kind of a person he was and how selfless he was, If he had a choice he would volunteer himself so that others could live, I just had to hope that we could let the ark know we were alive before anyone else had to die.

The new girl, Raven I think her name was, had come up with an alternative plan to the radio which she had concluded as useless. We were going to use flares build from rocket fuel and other scrap pieces from the dropship, turns out Raven was a lot smarter than anyone else down here so she was also in charge of instructing everyone to help out. A few people were collecting some technical stuff from the Pod Raven had come down in, including Clarke and the new girl. I stayed behind at the dropship with the rest of the camp and Bellamy, considering I did not trust him one bit after the stunt he just pulled I had told him to back off and let me take charge, at least until Raven got back. Surprisingly he did.

I had been told the basic structure of what we were trying to build so I did most of the work putting it together, of course, I had help carrying the heavier stuff, and finally, as I was putting on the finishing touches the group who went to the pod got back. Raven immediately set to work and impressively got all the technical stuff built and working within half an hour. Another ten minutes and everyone was stood in the middle of camp ready for the launch. This better work for the sake of my dad.

"5!"

"4!"

"3!"

"2!"

"1!"

Three red glowing flares shot straight up and across the sky. I hope they can see this. The collective sounds of "Oooh"s and "Ahhh"s echoed through the night air. Everyone seemed to really be enjoying this but all I could think about was the possibility of losing my dad, I hadn't seen him in nearly a year but I always found comfort just thinking about him and how he lit up the room just by walking in, he could make people beam with joy without even trying. I loved him for that because I was the opposite, I hated being the center of attention, I wasn't funny or particularly confident either so I liked to have him around to take the attention off of me.

My eyes scanned the crowd to see the joy on everyone's faces, I saw Clarke stood by Bellamy but her face seemed to be the only one that resembled sadness, but it wasn't because of the flares, she was looking at Finn who was stood cuddling with Raven. Yup... she was definitely jealous. Clarke and Finn had gotten close over the past ten days or so and I think something may have happened between them, seeing him with Raven defiantly hurt her. Bellamy however, didn't hold any expression on his face, no guilt no regret, and no sadness, just blank. I couldn't stand it anymore, I couldn't be here whilst everyone else was enjoying themselves.

I pushed through the group of people and walked into the dropship, straight up the ladder to the third floor. I needed some time to myself and that had been difficult to get the past few days due to all the events that had happened, I don't even think I've gotten any sleep since before the whole charlotte incident. Since then I had found out that Murphy had been banished from camp by Bellamy and Clarke even though he didn't actually do anything, apparently, the young girl had killed herself in the end, and once again Murphy was on the receiving end of the punishment. I still thought he was a huge dick but he didn't deserve any of this.

I slumped down against the wall and pulled my knees against my chest. I allowed my head to fall forward and rested my forehead on my knees, I felt a single tear escape my eyes and it ran down my cheek before falling. It had been so hard down here and I was really starting to struggle, even on the first day it was bad, and I had a huge scar to prove it. Before all this I had kept to myself on the Ark, now I had risked my life a few times for people I barely even knew. After I let a few more salty droplets fall down my cheeks I wiped away the evidence from my face, I was not in the mood to be questioned about crying. It was still kind of early in the evening and it didn't feel right to go to sleep so I decided to go back outside after a few more minutes of calming myself down.

The fresh air felt like it cleared my lungs from any toxins it had in it as I stepped back outside. I still didn't feel like talking to anyone so I silently walked to the campfire, picked up a plate with a small portion of meat on it and then went to a quiet corner to eat by myself. I had gotten used to the same meal everynight when I was in lockup on the Ark so it wasn't hard to get used to it down here, if anything it was better down here because we actually got meat not some sloppy alternative that tasted like it had been picked out of the waste bin.

The night had been quiet since the launch of the flares, i think everyone had just been enjoying each others company. Some in a more abnoxious way than others, if you know what I mean. I had spent the evening just enjoying the sight of the stars, they were much more beautiful from down here than they were up in space. I wasn't the only one to notice when streaks of blue light started falling down the sky, almost like a meteor shower. No...! "It didn't work..." Raven took the words right out of my mouth. A crushing pain shot through my chest and I suddenly found it hard to breath, my heart was beating through my ears and I couldn't hear anything that was being said. My eyes narrowed in on the asshole who's fault this is. Without a thought I shot towards him and before he could react my fist connected with his face, he stumbled backwards and I swung again, hitting him square in the jaw. I felt myself get pulled back from the boy and then away from the crowd completely, I could barely see anything through the water that was building up in my eyes. Those blue streaks, that wasn't a meteor shower but a funeral... hundreds of bodies being returned to Earth and one of them was most likely my father. I was pushed into a tent where I was finally released from the grip of whoever it was that had tugged me away. I turned and saw Harper there looking at me with concern laced in her eyes. I pulled her into a tight hug and buried my face into her shoulder.

"Thank you!" was the first thing that I said. When Harper asked why I was thanking her I responded with, "Because I don't think I could have stopped myself if you didn't pull me away." she didn't loosen her grip on me until she felt me move back slightly, I didn't look at here because I didn't want her to see the pain I was feeling. "Do you want to talk about it?" I managed a small nod and she sat me down on the edge of her bed where she sat down next to me. "I think my father might have just been killed in that sacrifice..." the tears were now streaming down my face leaving wet trails behind. "What?" "He was working class so he would have been the first to be considered for it, and even if he wasn't picked I know he would have volenteered to take someone elses place because that is just the kind of man he is!" I couldn't take it anymore and soon I was sobbing into Harpers arms, she held me tight. "We don't know that he is dead May..." I felt her hand stroke over the top of my head in a soothing manner. "Raven is working on the radio still so we will find out soon enough, ok?" she knew there was no point trying to calm me down because there was nothing in this world that anyone could say to make me ok right now. She just sat with me and hugged me tight until I fell asleep in her arms.