Revolution of the Apocalypse

Chapter 18

Ever since that tragic day, I developed anxiety, mild depression, and insomnia. The nightmares make sure that I don't go to sleep at night sometimes, the dreams from the past go on repeatedly. Nightmares such as the Clinic raid, shooting Dad, and having to face day after day trying to forget about the reality that is to this very moment.

"Alice?" Chris said, waving his hand in front of my face, trying to get me out of this trance.

As much as I try to get out of it, I get sucked back into it, but only deeper. My facial expression is completly blank as the memories of Dad and I laughing and loving each other fly aroung my head. Chris snatches the photo of Dad and looks at it. He lightly gasps and puts the photo down on the ground.

The tears try to free from my eyes, but I refuse to let them go. I don't want to cry in front of him again, he probably thinks I'm weak as it is already. A strong leader of the War, is secretly too mentally unstable to cut out to be a leader. Why is he still even here? He should've left by now. But he was still here.

"Alice, I know this is hard on you, but it's going to be just another plain memory" Chris said, trying his best to comfort me,

"You think having to shoot your own father is going to be plain memory Chris? It's already a nightmare as it is." I said,

"IT ALREADY HAUNTS ME IN MY DREAMS EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! EVERY SINGLE DAY, I FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR GIVING MY FATHER PAIN. HE TOLD ME THAT ME SHOOTING HIM WOULD MAKE HIM PROUD, BUT I DON'T FEEL PROUD!" I yelled, just on the break of tears.

"But that's what your dad wanted Alice. He had to go sometime soon, everybody does at some point in time. And hell, you should feel proud of yourself. You fufilled his only dying wish, that's what he always wanted. Am I wrong or am I right?" Chris explained.

Dad never wanted to be like them in the first place. I think I never noticed that if I didn't shoot Dad, he would've turned and probably tried to kill me. And with that, the tears finally broke free. Drop after drop, more of them still came.

Chris pulled me into his arms and let me cry in his jacket. His hand rubbed soothing and comforting circles on my back as I let out screams and violent sobs.

"Just let it all out Alli, don't hold nothing back" Chris said,

Hearing him call me by my father's pet name made me go more insane. I started to thrash around, trying to get out of his grasp, but he only held on to me tighter.

"I'm not letting you go Alice. I'll never let you go" Chris said, his arms hugging me tightly around my body.

I was still crying, I feel like I can't even breathe. I try to urge Chris off of me so I can breathe, when I feel like I'm about to black out Chris finally releases me. I felt light headed and felt my body start to shut down.

"Alli, stay with me. Don't close your eyes" Chris said,

"I'll try not to" I said, weakly.

Chris picked me up and carried me to the living room and carefully layed me down on my old couch. Chris got the blanket above me and placed it on me. It was small and a dark gray, I always slept on the couch with this blanket every time I would watch TV. It still felt soft after all of these years.

"I'm sorry. I never thought I would be back in my old house again and just seeing my dad there, it just kinda sent something off in me." I said, trying my best to apologize,

"What's there to be sorry for? You got nothing to say "I'm sorry" for Alli. You practically saved your Dad from turning." he said,

"I know, it's just that your the only one that has seen me break down like that. I was always by myself when I get anxiety flares." I said,

"Everyone has a insecurity in them somewhere. You have an insecurity. I have a insecurity. Everyone in this world has a insecurity that they tend to hide. Your no different Alice." Chris said, getting up.

I wonder what he was doing as he pulls out a little CD and plugs in a radio. He puts the CD in and a sweet melody starts to play. He walked over to me and held out his hand for me to take.

"Care for a little dance?" He said,

"Of course." I grabbed his hand and picked myself off of the couch. His hand and my hand were togther and his other hand is on my lower back. My other hand is on his shoulder and he started to lead to the music.

When you fall asleep/ With your head upon my shoulder/ When your in my arm's/ But you've gone somewhere deeper

I felt a heat arise in my cheeks. I don't remember slow dancing ever. I was a little clumsy on my feet but Chris got me right back into the same Step 1-2-3-4 rhythm.

Are you going to age with grace? Are you going to age without mistakes? Are you going to age with grace? Or only to wake up and hide your face.

Well, oh, oblivion. Is calling out your name. You always take it father. Than I ever can.

I remove my hand from Chris' shoulder to his neck as he puts his other arm around me. I gazed into those eyes of his and felt like I finally belonged some where. He knows what hurt really fells like.

When you play it harder, And I try to follow you there, It's not about control, But I turn back to see where you go. Are you going to age with grace? Are you going to leave a path that joins?

Well, oh, oblivion. Is calling out your name. You always take it father. Than I even can. Well, oh, oblivion. Is calling out your name. You always take it father, Than I even can.

As the song comes to a close, Chris started to get closer and closer to me. I start to lean into him as well. And then suddenly, I felt wonderous upon the skies. Chris' lips lanted onto mine for a 4 second long kiss. He pulled away and then I kissed him back. 

Now I know how being happy finally feels like.