A Thousand Years

Deja Vu

"Good Morning Sargent Deeks." I say as I kiss the back of Deeks neck and back.

"Good Morning Kensi Blye." He said with a huge smile on his face. He rolled over into his back and kissed me on the lips.

"I've missed doing that," Deeks said as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "But most importantly I missed you." He said before planting another kiss on my lips.

After we kissed I adjusted myself so my head was against Deeks' chest and my hand in his abdomen. The beat of his heart was beautiful and calming.

"I was thinking about quitting the Marines." Deeks said out of no where.

My head immediately popped up from his chest.

"What do you mean? It's always been your dream to be a Marine! Why would you want to quit?" I ask.

"I have a family to look after now! I don't think I can do it anymore. Being away from you is hard, Kens. I need you in my life."

Tears started to fall down my face. Deeks used his thumb to brush it off.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you, too."

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

I was feeding Liam on the couch when the phone started to ring. I quickly placed Liam inside his downstairs crib and answered the phone.

"Hello, Kensi Deeks."

"Hello, Mrs. Deeks I'm afraid to inform you that your mother, Julia Blye, was involved in a car accident early this morning and was DOA."

My knees buckled and fell into the floor.

Deeks ran over to me, and I just started to lose it.

"She's dead." I said between cries.

"Deeks pulled me into a side hug and I cried into his chest for a good two hours.

^*^*^*
"Kensi, it's been a week. You haven't eaten for slept in seven days." Deeks said as he sat down in the couch beside me.

"I'm not hungry." I said as I was playing with the hem of my shirt. Tears were in the urge of falling onto my hollow cheeks.

I had lost a considerable amount of weight, and the bags under my eyes were so dark, I looked like a zombie from "The Walking Dead."

"It's all my fault..." I said to myself.

I started to cry and Deeks pulled me into his chest.

"This isn't normal behaviour, Kensi." Deeks said softly.

"Both your parents dying in two different car accidents isn't normal Deeks.," I paused and wiped the tears off my cheeks.

"You know darn well this is how I grieve! This is not different then who I handled my dads death!" I said before I was crying again. "She was coming to see her new grandson, Deeks."

Deeks tucked a piece of hair behind me ear and pulled me into a tight hug.

"She's dead because of me." I finished.